House~ma! Closing that chapter would be good.

There are plenty of things I would do differently given age and wisdom, but I am not convinced I would be in a better place. We are in the end the sum of our choices and experiences and there is no going back. I'm trying to make better choices going forward. And I am suddenly reminded of dude in 'Prelude to a Kiss' saying if he had it to do over he would floss regularly.

Also, why is Manson being denied parole breaking news?

I try pretty insistently to like the age I am, whatever that age is, but there is definitely some exchange in the balance. But right now is a pretty good point. House, job, husband, dog. And I managed to make that where I'm still pretty random. I used to get stir crazy with the five year desk job. But this job has enough crazy built in, that I don't need to generate any to stay interested.

I am terrified of old age, though. I am scared of the loss of physical and mental faculties, and the way people treat old people. I don't have kids or a particularly robust plan for retirement and I know the government will not be there for me (at least in the form of social security, which I've been paying into all this time), so I feel like it's a fairly insecure future.

I always was more scared of old age than death. In my rocker years I just figured I'd die early, and that was my plan. I felt a bit like Chris in Northern Exposure, looking at a bottle of heart pills, and frightened of a whole new unexpected span of time.

Because with Olbermann off the air, nobody is pushing management for those flashing "No Shit" banners anymore? truth: they're starfuckers.

I did the stupid things. My fuck-ups were epic.

Yeah, me too. I think I've got a lot of you covered in the Doing Stupid Things department.

But there's a big difference between just being a bonehead and doing things that challenge or scare you. I found it equally easy to be a bonehead and to challenge myself when I was younger, but now that I'm a bonehead less often, I don't think I challenge myself as much as I should.

This reminds me that I need to plan my next vacation.

Vegas! Hawaii! Australia!

Do overs--I wouldn't sleep with Joe. I would have realized I was math-smart in high school.

I occasionally mull over what my life would be like if I hadn't married Hubby. Despite the clicheness, he completes me, but if I'd known then what life with him would be, I may not have married him.

House~ma, Nora!

I feel good about who and where I am at 31. I'm pretty excited about my 30s, actually.

Would I like someone to pay me to wander around Europe and drink wine in charming cafes? Sure. But until that happens, my current situation's pretty good.

Heh, I feel the same way.

I am terrified of old age, though. I am scared of the loss of physical and mental faculties, and the way people treat old people.

And I feel the same way about this too. But first I'm scared of my parents' and my in-laws' aging, especially since we don't live near either set of parents and don't know when or how that might happen.

M and I were talking the other day about the things we want to do with our lives, and with our parents while they're still active and healthy, and I think we are going to try to walk the Camino de Santiago at some point. (Probably not this summer, though.) My dad and his mom are both pretty physically fit and would get a lot out of a trip like that. And my mom and his dad can hang out in, say, Barcelona with the kid(s) and meet us when we're done!

Yeah, it's because of watching my grandmother's decline, and worrying about both sets of parents' health that I feel the way I do. Although it was always scary, it seems more specifically scary now.

But it's not like I can avoid aging, so I guess I just need to do what I can to improve my health now.

I think we are going to try to walk the Camino de Santiago at some point

Oh, that's really cool. We saw the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela when we were in Spain, and it's very cool, as is the town itself. Kind of touristy, but less so than some other places we saw (like Barcelona).

I love the idea of the Camino, but I think I would rather walk Hadrian's Wall from the North Sea to the Irish Sea first.

Hubby and I got on the topic of death and dying yesterday. He said something about dying early. I said, "If you're going to start talking like that, I'm going to make you write a will." "OK," he said in a small voice.

This is a huge thing. He has always fought against the idea of a will. It also tells me that his health has been weighing on him. So--how hard is it to do a will without needing to involve a pricey lawyer?