Middle age feels like where I am right now. Getting up in the morning requires a lot of stretching and a lot of ouch. Although we also need a new mattress, so there's that.

Kat, was there a new Good Wife Sunday night?

THere wasn't, roomie and I watched TAR and then were disappointed.

And yet? I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. I've been at the same company for 18 years, been doing variations on the same job since 2000 and I still don't feel like I'm out in the real world yet.

Except 13 years, this is me.

And OK maybe it's just me but I feel like we should be giving middle age a few props as well. My life is comfortable, more comfortable now than when I was in my mid-twenties, and certainly more settled--in a good way. And middle age appears to impact cognition in good ways, not bad.

And this, too. My mind is calmer and clearer; I was - let's say "volatile" - when I was in my twenties. And I have more money, a career I get some respect for, and a much better grasp on how to handle grown-up things like money and home repairs. I wish I hadn't got fat, but I can't really blame that on getting older.

Mind you, I'm not going to complain about the steady employment, especially in the current economy, but I'd also feel woefully unprepared if something happened that changed that (and with the industry I'm in, it's becoming more of a possibility). The last time I dealt with resumes, I was mailing them out in answer to ads in the newspaper. TWO things that aren't the way they are done anymore.

Frank, indeed. I feel totally unqualified to do anything at all except what I'm doing.

I am cognitively way more fucked up than I used to be. Much slower, much worse memory. I have a better attitude towards it all, but that's mostly giving up and learning coping strategies instead of trying to be less stupid and have a better memory. However, I don't know if that's age or the fact that my brain is on fire.

And my body--I don't know if that's because I went from 90mph to zero, or it's just what age does. I have no controls in these experiments.

The last time I dealt with resumes, I was mailing them out in answer to ads in the newspaper. TWO things that aren't the way they are done anymore.

Me too.

Wait, I think I faxed my resume in. From a computer with a fax modem.

Yeah, I've been at the same job for 16 years. I think I'm fairly employable in the computer industry, but I haven't really thought about other job possibilities in many years.

I'm the other end of the spectrum -- I've realized me and S. managed to get through our twenties and thirties with no real plan and a lot of luck (and some bad luck), and now we're in our forties and pretty stuck, career-wise and financially. We're doing a good job with the kids, Jake excepted, and we're a happy family, but we have fucked up time and time again in most other ways.

Now I'm depressed.

I guess middle age is a tradeoff--it takes me longer to get back into shape than it used to, I am slowly accruing all sorts of weird problems with my body (weak right knee, chronic sinusitis, plantar fasciitis), less regular sleep patterns, grey hair, and perimenopause. But on the other hand, I am financially stable, and otherwise pretty healthy and happy. I can afford to travel, and dress better, and I've become a better cook and writer than I was when I was younger.

Over all, I can't really complain, except about the acne. I really resent the acne.

I really resent the acne.

Right? That was unexpected and really sucks.