Well, BYU football is dominated by nice local boys with some Polynesians and the rare imported black kid.

Not a hotbed of larger world knowledge, the town I live in.

I need to be up at 4 am to leave by 5 to get to a television interview by 6. I am not a morning person.

Kat, I'm glad you and Grace are home.

Cashmere,

but you are a STAR!

Besides me, and Hec, are there other divorced parents with younger kids? (Suzi?)

I am a good mom and I know that. But every time my kids come back from being with Joe, they talk non stop about how much they miss him and how much more fun he is and how they like him better. They say it in a nice way but it really hurts. Even worse, I know that it makes me disengage from them, even though I try not to. Why do they do that? It worries me a lot. I'm sure there is some reason for it but I can't see it. Sometimes I just want to quit making rules and buy them the crap they are always asking for and that daddy always buys them.

But every time my kids come back from being with Joe, they talk non stop about how much they miss him and how much more fun he is and how they like him better.

Do they only see him on weekends, or during the week, too?

Because (if I may offer my 2 cents as a child of divorce) the custody arrangement my parents had was that we lived with mom during the week, and visited dad on the weekends. So dad never had to enforce rules about homework, and bedtime, and stop watching TV, and get off the phone, and no we are not getting McDonald's after basketball practice, etc., etc. He just got to be Fun Weekend No-Homework No-Rules Parent.

And that was not a fair deal for mom, to always have to be the one to enforce the rules after dad was Fun Weekend Guy.

Is that what's going on with you and Joe?

But every time my kids come back from being with Joe, they talk non stop about how much they miss him and how much more fun he is and how they like him better.

Ooof, that's tough. What's your schedule like? I think it helped with Emmett that we were always 50/50 so that one parent wasn't "Vacation Parent!"

Not that I'm necessarily recommending that kind of schedule for you but it keeps him from romanticizing one experience.

I'd also note that you've got a newer child with Sammy that has displaced them and is probably taking more of your attention.

Very xposty in theme with Tep.

It's nice to hear that view echoed from a parent, though. I never realized until I was in college that it was unfair for mom to be the only one who enforced the rules and dad got to be Fun Buys-A-Speedboat Parent. (And, incidentally, Takes-Children-On-Speedboat-While-Drunk-Out-Of-His-MIND-At-Noon Parent. [Healthy role models? What are those?])

We have this crazy 50/50 schedule that goes 2-3-2. There are a lot of things about it that make it not work well. Joe isn't working right now and he has very few rules. They stay up late, eat lots of junk food and come home with new toys every visit. I know that's not healthy so I don't do it. And I'm definitely more strict. He's a better dad that when we were married but he is so damaged that, IMO, he's putting major emotional demands on the kids. That's probably an LJ post in itself, I guess.

I guess I'm just scared they will want to leav me some day because I'm not as fun as their dad.

I think Sammy is actually a pretty big draw. They seem to really love playing with him although he also makes some things hard.

Im not disappearing but I'm going to go to bed before I think this topic into insomnia.