Emmett's gone on a camping trip with a friend's family this weekend.

Yesterday we had this conversation in the car.

Me: Please be careful in the wilderness. Don't you and [your friend] do anything stupid.
Emmett: Pffft. Dad. We'll be fine. What did you think we were going to do?
Me: Please don't have light saber battles with flaming sticks you pull from the campfire.
Emmett: Oooh, I hadn't even thought of that. You know what I want to do? Kill a badger. If I see a badger I'm coming home with a pelt.
Me: Stay away from wildlife.
Emmett: What does a badger look like?
Me: Emmett, a badger will eat your face off like a small furry dude on Bath Salts.
Emmett: If a badger comes at me, it's bad for him.
Matilda: Emmett! Please don't get eaten by wolves because I love you a lot!
Emmett: I won't get eaten by wolves. If I meet wolves I'll start running with the pack.

Later from the road he texted me:

Emmett: "We bought a bow and arrow from a road side vendor! We are SO HAPPY!"
Me: Please don't shoot your friend in the neck.
Emmett: Pshaw.

Was this where we were talking about not typing apostrophes in iOS? I do that, ftr. I noticed this morning that it makes deciding if I have used the right "it's" harder.

I did manage to leave the house to get to the market. First corn of the year there! Now it is pouring and we are still thinking of going to Artscape since maybe it will be good practice for when we are in England in the fall?

Liese, did you explain why Hiro Protagonist should not be called Hiro and I missed it? I am asking and rushing out of the house, so rude, but I didn't want to forget again.

Hec, next time you speak to Emmett, share with him this quote from UK military spokesman Major Mike Shearer:

"We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into [Basra]."

I somehow managed to get all my shopping done before noon. I think I might nap listen to the radio for a bit. There is laundry and nails to be done, but I think that can wait. I have company coming tonight and I made some wasabi broccoli slaw and picked up some pulled pork and rolls. And chips and veggie gyoza. So I'm set,

"We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into [Basra]."

That's just going to make him want go to Basra to make sure. He'd go all troll logic on me.

"If they say there are no badgers in Basra, that's probably where they're hiding them."

There really needs to be a roller derby team named the Basra Badgers now.

"If they say there are no badgers in Basra, that's probably where they're hiding them."

No, no, the UK military denied releasing the man-eating badgers on the grounds that the man-eating badgers were in fact indigenous to the region, and needed no help from the UK military to invade Basra. (To be fair, they may also have quibbled about the man-eating part, but that's really not central to their defence.)

Ding ding ding! Theo wins -- my package was less than 1lb.

If I told Emmett that Basra was filled with man-eating badgers he would definitely text me back saying, "I know what I'm doing with my summer job money!"