I am onerousing today, but it is because it is my deadline. I am not enjoying the experience.

Earlier today I told the SO that some people, given a time machine, would go back in time and fix things with a loved one, avert a worldwide disaster, give sage advice to people of the past. I? Would go back to myself, a year ago today, and ask myself, "What the fuck were you doing?" I am sure that Past!Me would have an excellent explanation for why, exactly, she made a thousand dollar adjustment to the accumulated depreciation fund.

However, if I had a time machine, I would probably be being plagued right now by Future!Me, asking me why the fuck I zeroed out all the relevant depreciation entries.

Just listened to the TAL. Parker is the kind of friend who definitely shines the light where it needs to shine, eh? And he'll go right there with you, even knowing how much shit he'll take for it. Dayum.

Also, completely tangential to the story, where he explains that the two missionaries have to be together every single second with the exception of bathroom breaks and, one would assume, showers -- that is a level of togetherness I cannot fathom. For two years! Wow.

Jen, I co-sign and agree.

What did you think of Ira Glass' utterance of "oh my God." Wasn't that kind of awesome?

Parker needs a gold medal.

Allyson, have you read Touched with Fire?

No? Any good?

Parker was an amazing friend. Wow.

I wonder if they are still friends today: I hope so.

re: Allyson

What Scrappy said, squared. Sometimes, Allyson, I want to shake you and say, "But you're so cool and so funny. I want to be like you when I grow up."

I am also a member of the arrogant and low-self-esteem club. I suck at teamwork, partly because my experience is that when I'm part of a team, I do all the work and other people get the credit.

What I'm on makes me less depressed and less anxious, but it doesn't make me cheery. Sometimes it's hard to remember what that's like. It seems like I feel less creative, but I also think my brain took a hit from chemo. I think it's getting better.

It seems likely that both Darwin and Dickens were bipolar. Certainly both had periods of black depression interspersed with astonishing productivity. Of course, my dad was bipolar and he was an SOB, although he was also a great story teller and an absolute whiz at cards.

LeN, I missed the "oh my god" the first time, but I went back just to find it. It was hilarious.

Yeah, Parker is kind of my hero right now.

Generally, though, you're not with the same person for the whole two years, because people get assigned to different locations and they go home at different times. They also want to have newbies paired up with older hands. So every few months you get to have a closer-than-married relationship with someone new that you don't choose.

omgomgomgomg. Torture!

What I'm on makes me less depressed and less anxious, but it doesn't make me cheery. Sometimes it's hard to remember what that's like.

I can be cheery in very specific, usually situational spurts. But even with my AD doubled (the generic of Celexa is what I've taken since I started them), I'm still depressed, even if it's a little more mild. I also just feel more ... blase about it? I can see it, over there, and it seems like too much trouble to do anything with it.

Which is really only since I doubled my dose, come to think of it, but I'm also not having days where I can't get out of bed or speak without crying, so. Trade offs, I guess.

but I also think my brain took a hit from chemo

You know, I forget to take that into account sometimes, but that's a good point. Trade-offs, indeed.

I wasn't cheery for a LONG time, even though I was better.

It comes and goes, but over the last 6 months, I am freaking my long-time friends with how HAPPY I generally am. In a good way, but I AM more cheerful.

Shit still happens, and I've gone through a lot of shit and experimenting and stuff, but it CAN happen. I'm sure I'll cycle through some life shit, but I feel SO much better equipped to deal with it than I did even 2 years ago, it's amazing to me.

BTW, can someone re-post the TAL link for that story? I've looked and am getting no love.

Erin,

[link]

Part 2 is the part to which we are referring. I liked Part 1 as well, but Part 2 made me scream.