The before is awful but the after is really amazing. Best thing I've cried for in days.

Best thing I've cried for in days.

That's exactly it.

I don't think I ever thought about whether or not DH would protect me. I mean, I'm sure he would--he wouldn't run away and let me die or anything--it's just not a situation I'm anticipating.

ita, I think you need a new sleep psychologist. You don't seem to have any connection with this one, and she's not very good at communicating with you.

women want a man who can protect them

Hmm; I agree, but I think when I wrote that, my fingers went too fast -- I meant to get more into the "women are to BE protected, while the menfolks do the protecting" idea with that statement.

I want a man that protects me. And I want to protect my man. Physically, emotionally, mentally -- the way that it gets done depends on the skill set of the person, not based on gender.

D would take a bullet for me, I know. But I would much rather shove him out of the way and beat the gunman to death with his/her own leg, ya know?

Tangent (kinda): If we ever get financially settled, I really want to take krav classes. D and I agree that would be a fun date night!

You don't seem to have any connection with this one, and she's not very good at communicating with you.

I can't work out how much I'm supposed to be getting out of her. I know some of her stuff already, so this week, I came out of it with the idea of "distracting sensation" when I wake up startled, and now I have to work out what to do.

But I haven't seen the bills. I don't know what insurance covers. I should stop appointments until then. She's done nothing to convince me this is worth going deep into my own pocket for.

However I did get a call about $2K I owe a bankrupt hospital from 2007. Dear god. They didn't try very hard to get it from me when they were solvent, can't they leave me alone now? Yeah, I know, not the same them. I just can't work out how I incurred that shit, and I doubt I have 2007 records, so that means calling up insurance companies I no longer pay and asking for records.

Burrell, I watch a LOT of action movies; my brain goes there, also, having been almost raped once, I do think a lot of personal safety and how I would react and what my skills, strengths and weaknesses are. Also, D is a very slight, mild-mannered man, and I am built like an, um, brick shithouse, so I've thought about it.

Just an explanation for my worldview, not a you-offended-me statement or anything.

Also: ita !'s 2nd link -- the first photo made me literally gasp in shock so hard I choked on my iced tea. But the second pic is SUCH a good outcome. Damn.

For me it comes down to me not having much of a fight or fuck dichotomy--we just want the best possible excuses.

That makes sense, Erin. I was just musing on what you said and realized I tend to not think about DH's more aggressive side even though he does have one. As do I.

I can't work out how much I'm supposed to be getting out of her.

Not the mild aggravation she seems to put you through. I mean, she doesn't seem bad, but she doesn't seem like a good fit for you.

I need to go to bed, speaking of sleep. I haven't had a full night's sleep all week.

For me it comes down to me not having much of a fight or fuck dichotomy--we just want the best possible excuses.

HA! I love you, ita !!

Argh. After being sick for weeks and sleeping 16 hours a day, I finally feel better and need to get up for work in the morning, and lo and behold, I can't fall asleep!! Sigh.