ION, here is something ita ! might have posted: A Freakishly Bizarre Music Video About People With An Extra Head

In this freakishly bizarre music video for “Big Bad Wolf” by DJ duo Duck Sauce, we follow the tale of two men whose libido’s are embodied by second heads protruding from their crotches. The men (and their second heads) go about their day and then prepare for a night on the town, where they meet some women, and well, you’ve been warned.

I would argue this is technically work-safe, but....

I sometimes have that irritated feeling after spending more money on another baby gift or wedding shower that I need to throw a "not getting married or having children shower" and have everyone bring me presents just for being me.

I really want to be Tim's *wife* (I couldn't care less about a wedding, for reals), but I have to admit that part of me wants to get married to get new stuff that matches. Plates that match! And don't have cracks up the middle! Towels without stains of dubious origin! An espresso machine that blow-dries my hair!

...that last one exists, right? I assume it's one of those things only married people are allowed to have.

t edit And it *is* weird, living with him for 4 years but not being married. It's not-quite-societally-sanctioned relationshipness. Not really. Not as much as a spouse is.

Monica (my gf)

Hey! So, when did GF/BF status become official? Did I miss it? Woo!

Wait, I'm supposed to have clean towels? I'm doing this marriage thing all wrong.

Big Bang Theory makes me believe that Owen will have close friends, a successful career and a fulfilling life as an adult, even on his worst days.

He will! Honest! If I can do it, so can he!

Hey! So, when did GF/BF status become official? Did I miss it? Woo!

I dunno, from my first visit in early Oct? I just assumed we were bf/gf, and then later Monica mentioned how nice it was telling a prospective roommate that her boyfriend from Chicago would be visiting in Nov.

I assumed she was talking about me....

Wait, I'm supposed to have clean towels? I'm doing this marriage thing all wrong.

Well, whenever I've bought people stuff off their wedding registry, without exception there were always towels/linens on the registry. So I assumed that if we got married people would give us new towels for our newlywed dirt.

Hey! So, when did GF/BF status become official? Did I miss it? Woo!

I dunno, from my first visit in early Oct?

I don't remember you using the term, that's all. I think it's pretty damn cool!

I really want to be Tim's *wife* (I couldn't care less about a wedding, for reals), but I have to admit that part of me wants to get married to get new stuff that matches. Plates that match! And don't have cracks up the middle! Towels without stains of dubious origin! An espresso machine that blow-dries my hair!

The newness wears off sooner than expected, and you're back to towels with stains of dubious origin again.

We do still use our flatware. That's held up pretty well. The glasses we got are long since binned. The formal china comes out twice a year at most, and has to be stored.

The espresso machine never did double as a blow dryer.

I think it's pretty damn cool!

Thanks! It is pretty damn cool. Although I keep on having to remind myself I'm in a relationship--occasionally I slip back into thinking, "I'll never be in a relationship" before going, "WTF? Why am I still feeling that?" Just so used to that mode of thinking, I guess.

The newness wears off sooner than expected, and you're back to towels with stains of dubious origin again.

We do still use our flatware. That's held up pretty well. The glasses we got are long since binned. The formal china comes out twice a year at most, and has to be stored.

Well, I have no desire for formal china, but new stuff sounds keen and fluffy.

The espresso machine never did double as a blow dryer.

Dang. I was hoping it wasn't a myth. Well, maybe just a Keurig, then.