I know! It's not like men's bathrooms don't ever have the bowl. I mean, men defecate, too! We have unisex bathrooms, but it is only because we're a very small town with lots of very small businesses who only have one bathroom. So much so I've never thought of it as unisex bathrooms, which I reserve in my brain for the shocking Ally McBeal bathrooms where both genders might be in it AT ONCE OMG.

Good for your DH's school, Laura. That type of exposure really can make a difference in kids' opportunities.

So the SO's bash came off beautifully in a slow burn. He didn't notice the balloon, 'cause he's a doof like that, and someone had to point them out to him. Then he was happy about the free chai lattes all day. Then he was happy about the cake.

And then for a while, he was kinda all, "Hey, I wonder why everyone coming into the coffeeshop today I know?" So he finally texted me about 2:30 when he worked it out. By then I was zonked out and accidentally napping. He brought the balloons but not the cake! home yesterday. The guests didn't eat it, goofballs!

Anyway. Successful surprise. I was laughing about it afterwards to myself, because it would have been a horrible day if it had been done for me. All that relentless chitchat all day long! But the SO was happy.

Half the time I wind up using the "men's" bathroom in a restaurant anyway, if the women's is full. Peeing next to a urinal doesn't bother me.

Absolutely. And in a bar, I'm happy to go after someone who had the seat up instead of just peeing on it. HEY! I've been meaning to spread this idea: Women who squat/hover, why not put the seat up first? That would be awesome for the rest of us who don't want to sit on your pee.

Laura, how wonderful!! It must have been such a thrill for those women to see their kids playing on tv.

Way to go, Liese!! Well done.

You noticed there are not any bathrooms at work that, if you were trans, you could easily use.

Actually, I suspect that my office would work things out. This is the place where you're encouraged to come out to your co-workers, after all. Other colleagues might get snippy, but I'm pretty sure management and HR would have your back.

The issue then becomes, which gendered bathroom is appropriate to use, and that does get complicated, but isn't one of the solutions that someone trans in need of a pee gets to use the bathroom of their gender without any concern?

I didn't think that movement was for people who don't identify on one side of the gender binary or another, but rather for people who identify non-traditionally.

Perhaps I overestimate the impact of a decent thought experiment and just paying attention to the labels on the bathroom. I don't believe risking a UTI or severe discomfort is going to change anything except how I think....and I don't think it would actually change how I think either. I believe more in efforts that have a lower bar to entry, with a high realisation payoff. If the bar to entry is too high, only people that already get it will do it.

However, it's no skin off my nose if people do it for a month. It's not like it excludes other efforts.

I am definitely going into the office today, although I still feel like shit warmed over. My stomach is fighting hard against this cup of tea, let me tell you. And let's not discuss how my head feels. But...I can't afford to work from home again, even if I'll have another of those leaking-tears-at-my-desk-all-day days like the last time I hauled myself there against better judgement. At least I feel safe to drive, which is issue #1.

I'm glad you're feeling better, Tom! Go Team Modern Medicine.

Someone on LJ has suggested that I consider taking an art class instead or ahead of looking for industry-standard life drawing reference books. Ah, sweetie. Very kind of you, but the last thing you need is for me to spew my life drawing feels. Just suggest a book, will you?

Perhaps I overestimate the impact of a decent thought experiment and just paying attention to the labels on the bathroom. I don't believe risking a UTI or severe discomfort is going to change anything except how I think....and I don't think it would actually change how I think either. I believe more in efforts that have a lower bar to entry, with a high realisation payoff. If the bar to entry is too high, only people that already get it will do it.

Full disclosure: have not read article.

That said - if offices and public spaces are set up in a way that leaves a trans person generally unable to meet basic needs, and I've no doubt that is still more common than is comfortable, then that is wrong for a host of reasons. If "and horrors, they could get a UTI!" is where you clue into that, ur doing it wrong.

I've heard good things about Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain, but then again, I can't even draw a decent stick-figure.

Our office has unlabeled single-user restrooms, but there's one that's customarily used as the women's and one that's mainly mine with some use by co-workers' visiting kids and the occasional tradesman. We're a small enough operation that there's no big deal if someone needs to use the "other" bathroom due to occupancy - they're more like water closets in a private home than public restrooms anyway.

Speaking of gender and bathrooms, there was a letter in an advice column this morning from a lesbian who was wicked offended when people in "exotic locales" questioned her in the bathroom, because she's not even that butch! This is the problem with individuals: I agree the actual issue is a problem, but the person presenting the problem made me roll my eyes.

Oh, here it is -- my local paper didn't have the inflammatory headline: [link]

I think there's a difference between being emphatic and knowing intellectually that this is an issue and then actually being faced with the realities every day for a month.

When I go to the restroom at work I don't think "well some of my customers wouldn't be able to use this restroom." But if I'm doing this challenge and can't use the restroom and I think the closest one I could use is at the mall (I think they have a family restroom) then I'll be more conscious of the situation.

Or if I buy clothes and I can't try them on because all the changing rooms are male and female.

When I go to the movies I usually pee right before and then sometimes have to sneak out during the movie and then go after the movie.

So if I do this challenge the movie theater is probably out.

And even though people aren't holding signs or making a public display of why they aren't using public restrooms their friends or family will probably notice and ask and then people can share about the challenge that way.

askye said what I was trying to say.