I go online sometimes, but everyone's spelling is really bad. It's... depressing.

Tara ,'Get It Done'


Natter 69: Practically names itself.  

Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.


smonster - Mar 29, 2012 6:13:41 pm PDT #28733 of 30001
We won’t stop until everyone is gay.

I think it's a "gain empathy to understand the importance of the issue, so that you will hopefully actively support it" kind of thing. Although that was based on a cursory reading.


§ ita § - Mar 29, 2012 6:15:17 pm PDT #28734 of 30001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

I think it's a "gain empathy to understand the importance of the issue, so that you will hopefully actively support it" kind of thing

But it pretty much means trying to not use any public bathrooms for a month. If you're going to even try that, aren't you already pretty down with the cause?

Or maybe there are more people that haven't started thinking about it yet, and they will start next month.


smonster - Mar 29, 2012 6:18:25 pm PDT #28735 of 30001
We won’t stop until everyone is gay.

There's being down with a cause, and then there's "holy crap I tried to deal with it for a WEEK and got a UTI." Walking a mile in hir shoes, so to speak.


Hil R. - Mar 29, 2012 6:21:04 pm PDT #28736 of 30001
Sometimes I think I might just move up to Vermont, open a bookstore or a vegan restaurant. Adam Schlesinger, z''l

I did know someone who refused to use public restrooms, but it was because he had some kind of phobia about them. If a bunch of us were out at a bar or restaurant or something, and he had to go to the bathroom, he'd take the Metro home and use the one there, then call us to find out where to rejoin us.


Amy - Mar 29, 2012 6:30:28 pm PDT #28737 of 30001
Because books.

Completely off topic, but I want this dress! Except I also want it to be a little bit longer.


§ ita § - Mar 29, 2012 6:32:26 pm PDT #28738 of 30001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

I don't getting a UTI is going to significantly impact my understanding of or attitude to the problems that trans people have when faced with making binary gendered decisions. I know it's rough, rougher than I will ever have to live or properly understand, but the pee thing won't result in a quantum leap in empathy or activism that I can't make without being really uncomfortable. And the infection. Does the movement want me infected?


meara - Mar 29, 2012 6:39:06 pm PDT #28739 of 30001

But it pretty much means trying to not use any public bathrooms for a month.

Actually there are a large number of places that have single-stall bathrooms that are not labeled MAN and WOMAN. There are a larger number of places (ie Starbucks) that have single stalls but label one MAN and one WOMAN. Which is still a bit tricky for trans* people but less so than your general "here's the women's room with a bunch of stalls and here's the men's room with a urinal!" where other people would be going in at the same time as you and possibly causing violence or at least drama.

It does make you change your consumption habits if there's one particular coffeeshop that has them but the others don't. Etc. My favorite first-date-from-online place is partly because it's quiet and has good drinks, but also partly because it has gender-neutral bathrooms and I am likely to date people for whom that's an issue.


§ ita § - Mar 29, 2012 7:07:40 pm PDT #28740 of 30001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

Actually there are a large number of places that have single-stall bathrooms that are not labeled MAN and WOMAN

Not the places I go, no. I've paid attention, and the place where I would primarily use the bathroom is gendered--work. Which would push me out to scoping the other places near work ungendered bathrooms, but...rare. Haven't seen any in any of the places I eat out in, and I rarely eat out, so it's a non-issue, since I can't pee in them anyway.

It does make you change your consumption habits if there's one particular coffeeshop that has them but the others don't

You got that coffee shop. I do not. I have my home, pretty much.

Hasn't everyone already noticed most changing rooms and rest rooms are gendered? Don't you then just have to see how you feel about that? Or does your position count less if it doesn't come as a result of privation, discomfort, and possibly needing medication?


Amy - Mar 29, 2012 7:17:17 pm PDT #28741 of 30001
Because books.

Two places there are almost always ungendered bathrooms are Target and a mall food court, although they're usually labeled "family".


Kat - Mar 29, 2012 7:22:21 pm PDT #28742 of 30001
"I keep to a strict diet of ill-advised enthusiasm and heartfelt regret." Leigh Bardugo

I love the family bathrooms! Only one of our round of Targets have one. But most malls do.

Have you all seen the Academic Coach Taylor Tumblr? Holy hell, I have been laughing like a loon.