Smonsters great! (sung to Bill Cosby "chocolate cake" bit)

Um. How do I clean a wooden table? Like, *clean* it.

I just had to help a cat clean himself up after a pooing situation went wrong, and of course he fled from my aid before I got a good grip on him, and he went across a table that I had neglected to put a cover back on. Sometimes I eat on that table. I'd like to be sure it's clean. But it's wood, and I've never had to sanitize wood before.

If Social Services ever inquires as to my mental health, nobody mention this.

Okay, I wiped it down, sprayed it with Lysol surface cleaner, and put the cover back on. Cat is hiding in mortification and fury.

Gluten free vegans. I have oats, cornmeal, soymilk, arrowroot powder, sugar, honey, raisins and various oils including safflower oil. Do I have the ingredients for gluten free vegan oatmeal raisin cookies? Since I'm not a good baker improviser, I need a recipe and most I've found need stuff I don't have. Oh, and I also have unsweeted applesauce, and canned pumpkin. If not oatmeal raisin, any other good (non-chocolate) vegan, gluten free cookies with on-hand ingredient? (I have most spices like cinnomon, nutmeg, ginger. I have lemon and lime juice and vanilla and so on.)

Typo, would this work? [link]

It calls for oat flour, which you don't have, but you can make oat flour from oats by grinding them in a food processor/blender/coffee grinder.

t edit And you could replace the flax seeds with more oats (not oat flour) if you don't have flax seeds.

t edit again No -- from a comment the author made to the recipe -- Replace the 1/4 cup ground flax w/2 large eggs and increase the oat flour by about 1/2 cup. I found that they were softer than the cookies made with flax but still tasty.

Also, Oatmeal Raisin Oatmeal Breakfast Cookies.

And you could replace the flax seeds with more oats (not oat flour) if you don't have flax seeds.

The flax seeds are ground, which mean they work as a binder -- mix ground flax with water, and it turns kind of goopy, and holds everything together. Oats wouldn't work the same way, though the flax binder is probably not as necessary in that recipe, since it's also got the pumpkin.

Yeah, I re-edited.

Emeline's latest homeowrk essay. I am half tempted to send it to Terry Pratchett's email.

My favorite book is "Where's My Cow?" It is by Terry Pratchett. He is awesome at writing books. It is illustrated by Melvyn Grant. His pictures are wonderful. The book is spectacular because the story makes me feel very comfortable like at a spa. My favorite part is when young Sam says, "P'tui!" and "Buglit!" It is so funny.

You absolutely need to sent that to Sir Terry.