{{{Maria}}}

He said the odds are low that it is cancerous, and even if it is is, it is usually resolved by removing the thyroid.

True. I had my thyroid removed and 1 round of radiation. And, 10 (!) years later, cancer free.

Now I just wait for 3/15 to get the thing biopsied. Can’t believe that was the first available! Argh!

Waiting to find out sucks, but even if it is cancer, thyroid cancer is typically slow growing, so waiting a few weeks is not a health issue. Totally a mental one that I truly understand, though.

Oh Maria.

You're human, Maria. And so is he. And neither of you could see the future. I'm so sorry that this adds to your pain.

This needed to be repeated.

And I can't listen to music. Too many landmines

I had to make specific playlists that I could listen to, because too many things would just blindside me. And there are songs I'm probably never going to listen to again.

Ginger,

how are you doing? Have you had the tests scheduled yet?

and lots of It's Nothing~ma! to GC!

ION, I thought about turning Vlad into glove liners last night. He's constantly searching for things to play with, to the point of pulling things off shelves. A lot of my fuzzy critters and dolls have been moved to higher shelves over the past few months.

He somehow got my Wendy Froud doll off a shelf, and gnawed her hat off. The doll is fine, and I can fix the hat, but I completely melted down over it last night. Not only because the Little Sister doll is one-of-a-kind, but because she's a bright spot of magic in my life. But she's fine, thank goodness.

{{{Maria}}} I wish I could offer advice. The engineer in me wants to solve all problems, and I know that's not possible. The music lover in me offers this advice. Since you miss music, but the "landmines" want to be avoided. Maybe explore new music that doesn't have any memories attached? If you listen to pop, maybe try jazz. If you listen to jazz, maybe classical/orchestral. I don't recomend show tunes, they just stick in the head and drive you crazy (maybe that's just the theater sound guy talking). If you have cable TV or an AppleTV, or even iTunes, they all have music sources where you can pick by genre. Pick something new. Fill the house with sound. If ya don't like it. Go to the next one. Me? I'd say go for zydeco! It's upbeat, helps me clean the apartment, and not something in most peoples normal CD collection. {{{Maria}}}

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GC, glad to hear the doc put you at ease. Here is keeping fingers crossed all is benign and easily taken care of.

Oh, I like that music advice, o_a. Makes sense.

Yay, for smart and calming docs, GC.

every single tough thing that has happened since that experience has been no big deal. When all around me are flailing arms claiming some huge catastrophe that surely is the end of the world, I just shrug. Whatever. The experience of losing [Stephen] StE left me calm in the face of whatever disasters have followed, and gave me a completely different view of what the hell was important, and more significantly, what was not important.

Laura speaks for me too, Maria. Thinking of you every day.

sj, so happy for you and TCG and how things are falling into place about the house. Free grill! Minor in perspective to the rest of it, but still a lovely gesture.

All possible best ~ma, GC.

well, I do listen to my fair share of NPR, and I know the world events can make me angry, so it's clearly not a good substitute for music.

It's the worst thing about grief, to my mind. You think you're moving forward, then a wall jumps in front of you to smash your nose into. It's not at all a linear progression, more a mad undulating spiral. Only when you can look back on it do you see that there was an improving trend.