It makes a lot of sense, and it's what my sister does. I actually am trying to at least walk around while I'm on the phone but it just feels weird. All those years of sitting on the step-stool in the kitchen, huddled next to the wall-mounted phone when I was young have marked me.

I have never gotten used to being able to do something else while I'm on the phone, either

Oh, I am big about this. I'm not going to take you with me to the toilet, or anything, but be prepared for a lot of other slices of my life. Even video.

I'm a pacer. Anytime I'm standing with naught much else to do, such as on the phone (or outside smoking), I'm usually pacing. Or at least wandering aimlessly.

I had many vials of blood taken for tests and I'm supposed to get a colonoscopy ASAP. Colonoscopies have a wait list, which I don't quite understand. They've scheduled colonscopies until the end of time? I've already been through various rounds of talking to robots and talking to people. The last thing I was told was my doctor has to personally call them to convince them to give me an appointment.

I did mention that I hate the phone, didn't I?

ita !, I mentioned rom coms because of that whole "long lost love" thing. Something About Mary, Sweet Home Alabama, and what's that recent one? Young Adult?

Need to disable fb chat. Just never bothered to figure out how.

A fantastic blog was born last week (or was it two weeks ago? Time works differently in my mind, where the beginning of this week was somewhere, two weeks ago). Sadly, it's in Hebrew, and only relates to Israeli press, but it's so good I had to tell you about it.

It's called "bag of snakes", after the popular sexist expression "women, women, [are a] bag of snakes" (it rhymes. To answer the next question that will follow, as I know my audience: it's nashim, nashim, sak-shel-nechashim ). Its writer was described as Jon Stewart of Israeli feminism, because the way she handles these "articles" isn't dissimilar to the way of his political commentary. Though actually, I'd say it's more like a feminist version of The Onion. [link]

Now, examples. Unfortunately, Google Translate doesn't always get the appropriate level of snark, so here it is, with my help:

Title: Ynet relationships (name of a section in a highly popular news site) goes against the phenomenon of food consumption among women

(original article's concern: women who get married, and then allow themselves - gasp - to eat when they're hungry).

Her interpretation:
Yes, Dear Writer, "Let us wonder for a moment about the deeper meaning" of what happened here. Your friend Name of Pseudo-Celeb, sat with his friend for hummus, when suddenly a terrible thing happened - a strange woman sitting next to them eating malawach (this is malawach, btw: [link] Just so, publicly, without any shame. It is even possible that you can tell she she was enjoying it. It was monstrous.

Pseudo-Celeb and his friend were overcome by "confusion created by the situation" and felt dizzy and weak, because he never met a woman and certainly not have imagined that women allow themselves to consume food. After they waved smelling salts upon their faces, they turned to the strange woman (brave of them! Not knowing what she may do, if she eats malawach!) And wished her "bon appetite". Maybe they added a few more words? Somehow it sounds like it. In any case it is clear that she understood that both of these strange guys criticized and expected her to explain the terrible and non-acceptable behavior. To defend herself, she explained, perhaps seriously, and perhaps jokingly, she is already married and therefore "she may".

Pseudo-Celeb was shaken enough to report the incident status on Facebook, which was read by The Writer. And here something interesting happened: instead of removing the abhorrent neanderthal from her friends list instantly, instead of asking him when Uncle Heinrich appointed him to Obersturmmalawachführer, rather than rethinking what went wrong in her life that led her to where her friends are so piggish, arrogant, brash and rude, so bitter and washed human and woman hatred - she decided to write a column about it that married women think they are allowed to eat.

As usual in Ynet relationships, it comes with psychological nonsense. "There is no objective truth, not some ideal when we get to sing our praises. The target is the road itself, and we mustn't take ourselves for granted when we walk in it". Fast translation into Hebrew? Shut the fuck up, cow. We did not allow you to eat before, and that you got married does not mean we let you eat now.

I wish I could translate every post there. It's brilliant.

Edits: love it how the spellcheck isn't extacly, well, spellchecking. Also, bad timing.

{{Ginger}} How utterly frustrating.

I did mention that I hate the phone, didn't I?

I'm hating the phone on your behalf right now, Ginger. Still vibing for nothing of a nothingness over there.

All those years of sitting on the step-stool in the kitchen, huddled next to the wall-mounted phone when I was young have marked me.

I guess I've been marked by the same thing in the opposite way. All my home phones are cordless speakerphones with belt clips, and I use them.

Oh, Ginger, I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to post this before I refreshed the board.

{{Ginger}}

I do need to work on my timing here, when it's not just me in the late-night-shift.

Scheduling a colonoscopy should not have extra roadblocks. Jeesh. I wonder if those bizarre "Colonoscopy Sweepstakes" ads on CBS have increased demand. In any case, I hope you get some answers soon, Ginger.

Obersturmmalawachführer

Love this.