That's a hard thing to have to wait for. But there's no need to theorize in advance of the facts.
I wanna die in bed surrounded by fat grandchildren, but guess that's off the menu.
Jenny ,'Bring On The Night'
Spike's Bitches 47: Someone Dangerous Could Get In
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
-t - Feb 13, 2012 8:09:49 pm PST #7302 of 30001
I am a woman of various inclinations and only some of the time are they to burn everything down in frustration
beekaytee - Feb 13, 2012 8:11:11 pm PST #7303 of 30001
Compassionately intolerant
Oh god, Maria. I am so sorry. And I have to wholeheartedly endorse -t's wisdom.
It's necessary to have every emotion, but every emotion isn't necessarily true, kind or necessary.
I feel so, completely incapable of saying anything of value. Just know that my heart is right next to yours, wanting to ease anything I can.
meara - Feb 13, 2012 8:23:39 pm PST #7304 of 30001
Oh Maria. Hugs and hugs and hugs. Know that if you ever need someone to talk late at night, I'm usually up until 3AM East Coast time and will gladly listen or tell you lesbian drama stories to keep your mind of things, or whatever helps.
Strix - Feb 13, 2012 8:36:31 pm PST #7305 of 30001
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger
Oh, Maria, this is not your fault. You'll feel what you feel right now, but remember every feeling isn't a truth.
If there's anything you need, anything I can do that's in my power, don't ever, EVER hesitate.
I feel such aching heartbreak for you, my dead friend, and wish I could be there to hold your hand, or to offer you things to smash, or tissues, or whatever you need to get through this.
All my love.
Atropa - Feb 13, 2012 8:37:12 pm PST #7306 of 30001
The artist formerly associated with cupcakes.
Oh Maria. I am so, so sorry.
You're going to have a lot of feelings that seem wrong or have no basis in reality or just don't seem like what you "should" be feeling. Go ahead and feel them just as hard as they come on. They're emotions, they may not mean what you think they mean.
-t is very wise. This is very important advice.
Also, my love, it WASN'T YOUR FAULT.
If you need anything, we're here for you.
P.M. Marc - Feb 13, 2012 9:02:52 pm PST #7307 of 30001
So come, my friends, be not afraid/We are so lightly here/It is in love that we are made; In love we disappear
-t is very wise.
And you're not ever, ever going to be given up on here. Ever.
Connie Neil - Feb 13, 2012 9:07:54 pm PST #7308 of 30001
brillig
A young friend of mine lost his wife six months after the wedding. She had various health problems, but they weren't able to figure out what the specific cause was.
But whatever they find, Maria, it was not your fault. Nothing. None of it. Even if you fought, he loved you, and it wasn't something either of you had any control over.
Pix - Feb 13, 2012 9:10:13 pm PST #7309 of 30001
The status is NOT quo.
I hate that -t speaks from experience but love that she is willing to do so. And her advice is so good.
juliana - Feb 13, 2012 9:40:07 pm PST #7310 of 30001
I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I miss them all tonight…
Maria, so much love to you, cara mia.
Shir - Feb 13, 2012 9:40:51 pm PST #7311 of 30001
"And that's why God Almighty gave us fire insurance and the public defender".
Maria,
I'm so, so sorry. The news was absolutely heartbreaking, and I can't even imagine how it is now for you. Please listen to the wise folks here, and take whatever you can from them.
And in case this need to be said again - this absolutely was not your fault. Not ever.
Also, you're not alone, even really late at (your) night. I'm at work (daytime in Israel), but I'll be around in case you're here.
Again, I'm so sorry.