I'm really hesitant to eliminate someone based on an online profile.

Then how do you online date? I mean, you've got to cut them down somehow. Just like in real life, I figure there are good people I never see in the right, most flattering light, but that's how interacting with people goes, I figure.

I guess I'm just reluctant to miss out on something because it doesn't match my interests

But there's more to eliminating someone on an online profile than not matching your interests. If someone tells you in a conversation that they don't read, say, and it bothers you IRL, then I wouldn't let it bother me online. Or if everything else they said overwhelmed it in person, then I also assume it's possible for them to otherwise seem appealling online even if they don't match up on that one criteria.

But there are definitely things a guy says he wants that I can't be--boom eliminated because of online profile. And there are things a guy can say he is that I don't want (like, if a guy is only into chicks my race or size, I get the skeevies and I'm out). But that would count for meatspace too.

Will and I are kind of an odd match. We work, but if I'd seen his info on a profile I probably would have passed him by.

Woo hoo! And good luck, sj.

Then how do you online date?

I didn't do much of it and what I did do came from people I met on listservs and usenet groups. DH and I met in '98, and everyone else I dated prior was someone I met IRL.

I mean, you've got to cut them down somehow.

If the entire profile wasn't appealing, then out the door it goes. If the overall picture is of someone I'd like to get to know, but he's missing something that I love to do, then that's not necessarily a deal breaker.

Or what you said in the next paragraph. My dating style was based more on feeling rather than a checklist of requirements.

But there are definitely things a guy says he wants that I can't be--boom eliminated because of online profile. And there are things a guy can say he is that I don't want (like, if a guy is only into chicks my race or size, I get the skeevies and I'm out). But that would count for meatspace too.

I have to respect that if a guy says he wants a 5'10" blonde supermodel, that's not going to be me, and move on. If he has requirements, there's nothing I can do about that. Doesn't matter if I can't meet them or they weird me out.

My point was more of the things that I can control and not what others do.

The SO didn't read when I met him, but he both reads and writes now. I make that sound like it's basic literacy, but y'all understand I mean for pleasure. Now I follow hockey. We both started archery. It's a relationship.

Oddly enough, while I don't like to just eliminate people for things like diet, I know there are some things I throw right up front in my OKC profile that I know will be deal-breakers for lots of women (like the fact that I live in LA and don't own a car). I've still managed to get a few dates.

If the entire profile wasn't appealing, then out the door it goes. If the overall picture is of someone I'd like to get to know, but he's missing something that I love to do, then that's not necessarily a deal breaker.

That is it exactly --I've tried to figure out how to some of the single women I know -there are things that sound like deal breakers until you look know the whole package the reading thing comes from dating non-readers that didn't want me to have time to read

I hate when people think they are being funny by not writing a profile.

erika, did you see this? [link]

That's so cool, Maria. Thanks.