Yay, sj, good luck!

Woo, sj! House-ma!

Yay, sj!

I'm really hesitant to eliminate someone based on an online profile. Sure, it helps to see whether you've got things in common, but it also may eliminate some really cool people.

DH is not a reader. He tolerates books at best, but he doesn't care if I bury myself in them. We have very basic values in common, but are very divergent in interests, though hockey was the reason we got together. He's brought me into the aviation world, and I would have missed out on that otherwise. Yes, we do fight--about money mostly--and I know you all remember our drama, but I was just as complicit in creating it as he was.

He's not religious, and I'm culturally Catholic more than anything, but I tend to fall back on it during bad times (c.f. cancer diagnoses in 2010-2011). He doesn't understand it, but he accepts it. I accept the fact that the only time I'll get him into a church is for our wedding and my funeral.

Eh, I'm rambling. I guess I'm just reluctant to miss out on something because it doesn't match my interests. Which also explains why I've never found anything to be truly passionate about.

house ma~~~

Not any where near dating , but food is a big part of where I live . I eat almost everything and I like adventure eating ( not live bugs ) so I would miss that , but if I was looking I wouldn't rule out vegetarian

Actually I would have a hard time eliminating a lot of things but non- reader.

I didn't respond to a lot of messages on OKC because I would look at their book list and it wasn't there, or it was shite.

Yeah, I rejected a guy because Twilight was on his list. And I would do it again.

I couldn't get involved with a vegan because I love to cook too much. Of course, there are plenty of vegan things that I could learn to cook, but that would mean that I wasn't cooking the food I liked. I can work with a vegetarian is fine because there are plenty of vegetarian foods that I like, or foods that I can take the meat out of. Of course, he would have to not mind that I ate meat.

My BFF's bro married a vegetarian that won't allow meat in the house. He says that he doesn't mind it because he doesn't eat breakfast, eats lunch at work, and stays late at work 3-4 times a week, so eats dinner at the office. So, they found a way to make it work. Although she says that she'll allow meat in the house when they have kids.

Maria, I am 100% with you. Tim isn't a reader, but totally understands (and abets) my voracious reading. I always used to think I *had* to be with a reader, but it's really no big thing. I'm forever grateful I didn't make that a pre-condition.

And him being a shrimp/scallops/crawfish-a-tarian isn't a problem because he doesn't care if I have meat in the house, though I don't make it often because I will not make 2 different meals. If I can add meat to a dish I make, then I do. But him eating shrimp and scallops makes things a lot easier.

I'm really hesitant to eliminate someone based on an online profile.

Then how do you online date? I mean, you've got to cut them down somehow. Just like in real life, I figure there are good people I never see in the right, most flattering light, but that's how interacting with people goes, I figure.

I guess I'm just reluctant to miss out on something because it doesn't match my interests

But there's more to eliminating someone on an online profile than not matching your interests. If someone tells you in a conversation that they don't read, say, and it bothers you IRL, then I wouldn't let it bother me online. Or if everything else they said overwhelmed it in person, then I also assume it's possible for them to otherwise seem appealling online even if they don't match up on that one criteria.

But there are definitely things a guy says he wants that I can't be--boom eliminated because of online profile. And there are things a guy can say he is that I don't want (like, if a guy is only into chicks my race or size, I get the skeevies and I'm out). But that would count for meatspace too.

Will and I are kind of an odd match. We work, but if I'd seen his info on a profile I probably would have passed him by.

Woo hoo! And good luck, sj.

Then how do you online date?

I didn't do much of it and what I did do came from people I met on listservs and usenet groups. DH and I met in '98, and everyone else I dated prior was someone I met IRL.

I mean, you've got to cut them down somehow.

If the entire profile wasn't appealing, then out the door it goes. If the overall picture is of someone I'd like to get to know, but he's missing something that I love to do, then that's not necessarily a deal breaker.

Or what you said in the next paragraph. My dating style was based more on feeling rather than a checklist of requirements.

But there are definitely things a guy says he wants that I can't be--boom eliminated because of online profile. And there are things a guy can say he is that I don't want (like, if a guy is only into chicks my race or size, I get the skeevies and I'm out). But that would count for meatspace too.

I have to respect that if a guy says he wants a 5'10" blonde supermodel, that's not going to be me, and move on. If he has requirements, there's nothing I can do about that. Doesn't matter if I can't meet them or they weird me out.

My point was more of the things that I can control and not what others do.