I'm not heated, but thanks. Hec and I have discussed gyp at length. My offense at the term isn't enough for him to stop using it entirely. He's prioritised as he wishes to, and that's entirely his call. I'm calm about that. erika says I shouldn't be offended, and so does Connie. They've made their positions clear.

Did you see erika or Connie agree that other people weren't overreacting or misinterpreting the comments that set off this conversation? Did you see Hec say (a while back) that the idea that I'm offended is too theoretical for him to censor or limit the expressiveness of his lexicon? What am I misreading?

You know, if you said to a group of our mutual friends: "Karl doesn't care if I'm offended," I would not be just hurt, I'd be fucking gutted.

And if you ever thought that I would direct racial epithets of any sort at you, I would wonder just what I had done to make you think me so callous.

So, tell me what i'm mis-reading, please?

I didn't say that you don't care if I was offended. I said that Hec prioritised other things over my feelings about gyp, and that erika and Connie thought I was overreacting. Am I interpreting things wrongly?

The nigga extrapolation was just to illustrate that because a group uses something to describe itself, it in no way makes it okay for other people to describe them. I apologise that that wasn't clear. I figured it was.

OK. I've got more thoughts than I have words, at the moment, so I'm going to retreat from the field until things start sounding more coherent in my head.

This place is hard for me to be in, sometimes. But even when I am not here, I am thankful for my Buffistas, especially the Bitches.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you who celebrate tomorrow. And peace, love and happy Thursday to those of you who don't.

Fuck civility. I'm talking about respect.

I respect you. I just disagree with your opinion on "gypped."

I said that Hec prioritised other things over my feelings about gyp... Am I interpreting things wrongly?

That's fair. And on my end, I'll note that even long after the "gypped" conversation I can send ita a link to something back channel that I think she'd like. We don't have to be in perfect agreement to still be in the same tribe.

I'm okay with our relationship as it is. Some of it's more history than intimacy or agreement but we're not that far apart on most issues of importance. I can look up at the card in our nerd hole and know she contributed to our car, and she can look up to the Legolas knives on her wall and know I had something to do with that.

For the record, my flounce earlier was a melodramatic faux-flounce.

I just came back from cooking. I am covered in butter, pieces of pig, hen and veg. So this is my messy, short and final opinion.

I respect and enjoy most snark. I respect Buffistas. If something I say offends someone, they have every right to tell me.

You cannot ever know what will or will not offend someone. I try to use my version of common sense. Sometimes I fail. Sometimes, I choose not to agree and continue my behavior.

To wit: I refuse not to cuss like a fuckin' sailor in motherfucking Bitches. It's Bitches. But if someone were to ask me to temper it in another thread, I would try very hard to so.

I still like you Bitches. I am going to go baste a damn hen.

Anyway, not that it's a referendum on any particular relationship in the board.

I guess I'm just noting that I do value the balance of the issue. That I do care about the people here even when I disagree with them (or offend them). That the prioritization on civility is important even if it comes with a cost.

I respect you. I just disagree with your opinion on "gypped."

Cause you're a wronghead on that one. So there and neener.

But, seriously: on that one, from a recent historical perspective and all? Totes wrong. I should TOTALLY make you charts detailing how wrong you are.

(As for military intelligence, I've heard that one from a Republican career Marine and family member by marriage. As well as from buddies of mine who were Air Force. And pretty much every military person I've ever known. And seeing as all of 'em were talking to civilian audiences while joking about it, I'm gonna take their lead on that old chestnut.)

Cause you're a wronghead on that one.

It wouldn't be the first time.

Happy Thanksgiving, Pleiades!

Happy Thanksgiving, Buffistas.

I am grateful for the Buffistas. Even when wrongheaded.

Cooking. It smells good here. I think I should retire early and spend my time cooking, reading, decorating,etc. mostly spending more time with feet up would work.