Most people is pretty quiet right about now. Me, I see a stiff -- one I didn't have to kill myself -- I just get, the urge to, you know, do stuff. Like work out, run around, maybe get some trim if there's a willin' woman about... not that I get flush from corpses or anything. I ain't crazy.

Jayne ,'The Message'


Spike's Bitches 47: Someone Dangerous Could Get In  

[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


Connie Neil - Nov 23, 2011 6:17:43 pm PST #3344 of 30001
brillig

I pointed out that Maria originally, and very politely, mentioned that some people might be hurt by the remark. If I recall correctly, erika was the one to take offense to that, and the discussion grew from there.

and

But lately it seems like the board is going to police itself so that nothing that might offend anyone anywhere can be said without a scolding,

Which is the core of the discussion. And the crux of the problem. Because debating against having to speak on egg shells to avoid the potential of hurting potential someones puts you in the position of having others say "So you're arguing you have the right to hurt people just because you don't want to watch what you say." And then adding the disclaimer that you're engaging in hyperbole so you don't have to fight against literal interpretations of every thing you say.

I'm also leaning towards Typo's position--I love this place. The debate may not be worth the angst. I shall not argue further on this point.


billytea - Nov 23, 2011 6:21:07 pm PST #3345 of 30001
You were a wrong baby who grew up wrong. The wrong kind of wrong. It's better you hear it from a friend.

Sue me, I spoke out for people who may not even exist anymore because we may already have driven them away. BUT THAT SHOULDN'T MATTER. It shouldn't take the existence of a Republican Buffista to be respectful. We've hurt people in the past with statements very like that one, and it stings me to see it potentially happening again.

I don't disagree, though I do recall fairly heated exchanges in Bureaucracy that hinged on what lurkers may or may not be thinking.

I don't really know when and whether this kind of issue makes a difference. If someone, say, posted a racial slur, I think anyone would be on solid footing to point out its offensiveness, whether or not they identify with it. Conversely, the military intelligence comment seems to have been intended, and by a number of people taken, as a comment on the organisation's structure and process, not on any individuals therein. Does it matter in such a case, a distinction between "I think there are people who might be offended" and "I personally am offended"?


billytea - Nov 23, 2011 6:21:08 pm PST #3346 of 30001
You were a wrong baby who grew up wrong. The wrong kind of wrong. It's better you hear it from a friend.

billytea - Nov 23, 2011 6:21:08 pm PST #3347 of 30001
You were a wrong baby who grew up wrong. The wrong kind of wrong. It's better you hear it from a friend.

billytea - Nov 23, 2011 6:21:08 pm PST #3348 of 30001
You were a wrong baby who grew up wrong. The wrong kind of wrong. It's better you hear it from a friend.

Dana - Nov 23, 2011 6:21:37 pm PST #3349 of 30001
I'm terrifically busy with my ennui.

Are you sure you don't disagree?


billytea - Nov 23, 2011 6:24:40 pm PST #3350 of 30001
You were a wrong baby who grew up wrong. The wrong kind of wrong. It's better you hear it from a friend.

Are you sure you don't disagree?

Hee. Apologies for the unanticipated post splooge.


§ ita § - Nov 23, 2011 6:24:42 pm PST #3351 of 30001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

on what lurkers may or may not be thinking

I am not talking about lurkers, actually.

And, you know what? I don't *have* to be a Republican to be offended. But, face it, you don't know if I'm a Republican or not. Not that you care, but you don't know. I've never said.

So you want me to stand up and say it? You can't see the statement for what it is? You need me to be offended for it to be offensive? Well, there you go. I'm offended. Put it on the record.


NoiseDesign - Nov 23, 2011 6:27:22 pm PST #3352 of 30001
Our wings are not tired

There is also the fact that what is offensive to one is not to another. There is a lot of religion that drives me nuts and I find somewhat offensive, but what am I to do about it? For example, people saying I'm in their prayers when I'm sick. Intellectually I know that the comment is coming from a good place and they aren't meaning harm by it, but as someone who is pretty open about my atheism it can be tough to watch people so blatantly ignore my beliefs (or rather lack of belief). To me it's similar to a devout evangelical being told that someone is using the power of their new age crystals to help heal them. Is it worth me picking a fight about? No, not any longer. There was a point in my life where I couldn't let it go, but at this point in my life I do try to just let it be and focus on the intent.

Um, so yeah, a round about way of saying that I'm not sure how we go about not saying things that have the potential to offend someone in some way.


billytea - Nov 23, 2011 6:39:48 pm PST #3353 of 30001
You were a wrong baby who grew up wrong. The wrong kind of wrong. It's better you hear it from a friend.

I am not talking about lurkers, actually.

No, I know. I was comparing it to a previous situation that arose here, that seems to me to have some analogies.

So you want me to stand up and say it? You can't see the statement for what it is? You need me to be offended for it to be offensive? Well, there you go. I'm offended. Put it on the record.

I do think a statement that would offend no one doesn't count as an offensive statement, so I guess it'd be necessary that it would offend someone. (This is, of course, a stricter standard than to say that it did offend someone, for just the distinction you've made here. I've mentioned previously that I've found the misogynist conversation of some of my work colleagues to be offensive, even though there were no women present at the time.

I personally wince a bit at the "Republican intellectual" comment. My political views are, I think, more right-wing than the centre of gravity on this board, because I'm essentially pro-free markets. Beyond that, I personally don't have much to say about that particular example, beyond that it's not one I would use myself.