Happy Birthday Jilli

~ma to Omni dad.

Happy birthday, Jilli!

Much ~ma to Maria, to omnis and his dad, to Teppy's brother and the people at the Alchemist, and to Bonny and Bartleby.

Good, continuing healing, recovering, and coping ~ma going out far and wide tonight -- Omnis' dad & family, Maria & family, Steph's bro & family & co-workers, and Bonny & Barlteby. But, really, far and wide, and all-encompassing.

Happy, Happy Birthday, Jilli!!

What she said.

Man, work today fried my brain so badly. So much going on, so little time to handle it all. Also, dear arrogant hipster soon-to-be-ex-coworker: DEODORANT - look into it. The world will thank you.

Small spending victories - I came in under budget at the pet store, and so got to make a guilt-free $5 donation to help homeless pets; I resisted a hundred temptations at the grocery store, and bought a pack of chewing gum (regular, not Nicorette) instead of cigarettes; I am paying bills before the last minute; I am updating my budget and spending plan every day until I get a better sense of what's going on.

Happy birthday, Jilli!

~ma to all who need it.

I'm still coughing. This is six weeks of coughing now, I think. Four visits to doctors, four different medication regimens, and I can't really say that any of them have made me significantly better, other than the Prednisone, and that also kind of made me crazy. I'm giving the latest try (a steroid inhaler) a few more days to see if it does anything -- so far, it makes me breathe a bit better for a little while after taking it, but the effect wears off.

Just one more day of teaching, then driving to NJ, and then I can rest. Well, cook and rest. But mostly rest.

Happy Birthday Jilli!

Good grief, Hil. You were already included, but continuing ~ma to you, too. So tiring and frustrating.

Small spending victories - I came in under budget at the pet store, and so got to make a guilt-free $5 donation to help homeless pets; I resisted a hundred temptations at the grocery store, and bought a pack of chewing gum (regular, not Nicorette) instead of cigarettes; I am paying bills before the last minute; I am updating my budget and spending plan every day until I get a better sense of what's going on.

All of that up there? Equals awesome.

Go smonster! I validate your awesome fiduciary responsibility!

I saw my new shrink today. He's nice, looks vaguely like my old one AND has an English accent,a lthough I can't place where. And I didn't ask.

I had a lot of nervous energy and the session lasted the full 1 1/2 hours. He asked me a lot of questions and a couple of times commented on how self aware I was about some things. (I'm not self aware of other things it seems). Even though he knew my diagnosis he treated me like I was a "virgin" patient so I got to talk about some things and I think I missed a few of symptoms/problems that used to be really troubling.

Basically it's crystal clear I have bipolar disorder. He's less sure about the ADD diagnosis, but only because he said it's not *that* bad and that people who have the kinda struggles I did growing up tend to have the same kind of problems I was talking about, but it's not ADD so much as having a wonky childhood.

Also he told me something I didn't know about Seroquel. It does cause weight gain, but some people level off with the weight gain, and it's usually about 40 lbs over their starting weight. Which is roughly where I am - (not including the Zyprexa weight gain). So if I stay steady at this it's probably where I'll stay. And I may be able to lose 10 lbs (give or take) but losing 20 or more pounds probably won't happen while I'm Seroquel. I need to exercise and eat right for health but I won't see the weight loss.

He did say I could try other medications if I wanted to and he'd be willing to do that if I didn't want to stay this weight.

And he gave me a prescription for Ambien. He said if I developed a resistance to it he knows a few things we might be able to do. I told me that when left to my own devices I tend to stay up until 2 or 3 am and then sleep for 10 hours. He said if that's what comes naturally to me and my schedule allowed it there was nothing wrong with it.

sorry this is long, I've been kinda processing this all day.

Ugh, Hil, that is so frustrating. I hope you can find some relief soon.

smonster, you're my budgeting heeeero!

askye, sounds like a good first visit. I see a new shrink in a few weeks.

Hil, that is seriously worrying. I really hope you start to feel better soon.

thanks, jen and David and amyth. It's a very different way to live, but there are definitely benefits. I feel a little silly that it's taking me this long to even make these small steps, but I guess it had to get bad enough to make me really, really want to change.