bonny, don't take on more than you can handle, and don't feel guilty about it.

My quick little errands turned into 4 hours of errands, most of which consisted of finding pez dispensers for my niece and nephew, which I finally found. If I send out nephew's birthday gift without pez, they'd be so disappointed.

I am just now eating dinner.

ETA: Pix, so much ~ma for Becca. I'm sorry.

Just because his cause is noble doesn't excuse poor manners

One of the things I liked least about 'us' these many years ago, is that was way too easy to view ourselves as the big, damn heroes many people told us we were.

A noble cause is no excuse for poor manners. Thanks so much, Kate P. I think this is what I will say to him...in that many words.

Thanks sj. I feel guilty for not having the intestinal fortitude to stay with the cause I once devoted my whole life to. However, I _do_, sincerely feel that I am doing more good in what I am doing now. Others have skills in the global political, diplomatic and strategic arenas that I just don't think I have.

The people who have so blithely asked me to 'oh, just explain it real quick' just don't know what they are asking.

Anyone who says that does not have the logistical know how to make this happen. If they can't grasp the magnitude of the job, they will not be able to make it work.

If they can't grasp the magnitude of the job, they will not be able to make it work.

This, in an elegant nutshell, is precisely what makes me groan nearly every time someone like this guy approaches me. The idea of hitching myself to a wagon destined to plummet off a cliff just does not appeal.

The other fellow I mentioned had a very good idea of how crazy stressful and detailed the process is. Him, I did not mind helping at all. He may not succeed, but he won't take hundreds of other people down with him.

I'm sure y'all are sick of hearing about my adventures on the Great Peace March

Not me. I would sit at your feet and listen to tales as long as you should like to spin.

Why isn't he paying YOU!

Too fucking right.

If they can't grasp the magnitude of the job, they will not be able to make it work.

And word to that.

Pix, I send you lots of love. And to Becca, too.

I am in that phase of sleep dep where I'm kind of giddy and bitchy and can't focus. I NEED TO FOCUS. ALL THE FOCUS.

...can't focus.

Oh, smonster! Not to go all Lloyd Dobler on you but, YOU MUST chillSLEEP!

God. I hate sleep deprivation so much.

What would help you?

Pix, sorella, I'm sorry it's been a bitch of a week. Much coping~ma to you and health~ma to Becca.

Bonny, what everyone else said. Don't underestimate your value and worth.

smonster, get some rest. Whatever else needs to be done can wait until morning.

Thanks, Maria.

I'm told this time of my life is about letting go of old habits and creating new expectations and paradigms for the 'last third.'

In an odd way, I feel like I should thank this guy for approaching me this way because (with y'all's help) I've been prodded to reassess a habit that has screwed me pretty badly for a very long time.

By NOT valuing my worth and by pouring energy into things that are not my passion, I've drained myself, put myself at risk and taken energy away from what is important to me.

I appreciate the value of this guy's project...I really do...and honestly, if he'd come to me in the beginning stages and asked what it would take to get me on board, I'd have probably sold myself short again.

But I'd rather go help the foster mom who needs skills with an aggressive dog tomorrow...for free...than even begin a conversation with this guy.

He wasn't around enough to understand what everyone who gave their lives to that endeavor knew, "It's not just an adventure, it's a JOB."

If someone wants to hire me to use all that knowledge, I'm on it. Beyond that, I'll save the world, one heart at a time, thanks.

Here is a paraphrase of how I hopefully ended the discussion.

...I've been able to guide organizations and individuals through some pretty rough terrain, both actual and metaphorical, with the wisdom I gained from my work on the March. I'm sure [your paid coordinator] will be able to do the same.

[dusting hands motion]

Done.

This isn't "can't sleep" sleep dep, this is "fundraiser is tomorrow and I'm running the silent auction" sleep dep.

Nope, it really can't wait, Maria. I've got donations to sort, auction sheets to type up, a parasol to finish painting, and Guilder to frame for it.

Good for you, bonny.