But I think I needed an undefined period of unrestricted eating to sort-of hit a reset button.

This is totally me. Grief, loss, illness, disappointment...the emotions most likely to send me to the cupcake store were just _rife_ for a couple of years in my life.

I decided, without really having a conversation with myself about it to pretty much do my worst eating-wise. I think it actually helped me both through distraction and dopamine surges.

Since I can't bring myself to drink or do drugs...areas where my control issues are incontrovertible...food just seemed the best choice.

I guess I should be grateful that I didn't have to work very hard to do it. Temptation is just a few doors down.

Trudy, I'm so glad to hear your stepmother is awake. I hope they can figure out what happened and prevent it from happening again.

I really could use to both eat differently and lose some weight for health reasons, but knowing that has not helped me make any significant, lasting changes

In more meme news, I just had a very difficult therapy session, and I'm in my car trying to pull myself together before going anywhere.

Definitely keep yourself safe, sj.

Bless your heart. I hope you find, if not balance, at least feeling more together as quickly as you need.

I've never let a client leave my office either angry or crying. It's just not a good idea.

My therapist is definitely not you, Bonny because I am both angry and crying, but time was up.

Definitely not me. I'm sorry that is the case.

It's tough when you have someone else coming in right away, but I have definitely been known to ask for a minute or two.

More than anything, I work to make sure we come to balance a good 10 minutes before the end of session.

I may not be a mother, but the idea of one of my people being out on the street feeling vulnerable, brings out the maternal NO in me.

What would help you now, sj?

Is there anything we can say?

Yeah, I'm pretty much done with dieting. I'm working on improving my internal flora, and ordered some kefir grains this week. But that's basically drinking yummy yogurt like drinks and making sure the good germs have some fruit or veg to munch on. It's not removing anything from my menu. So far my energy's up. It would be nice if the weight went down, but it's not like the last 30+ years of dieting got me there, so if this doesn't no big deal.

I'm sorry the session didn't end at a good place, sj.

basically drinking yummy yogurt like drinks and making sure the good germs have some fruit or veg to munch on.

I love the idea of treating gut flora like well-loved pets.

The 'cleanse' I'm doing includes probiotics which I should _always_ take but I haven't been good with 'always' doing anything.

I love the idea of treating gut flora like well-loved pets.

I find myself thinking of the gut collective as Kaylee. They live to eat yummy food and pursue reproductive activities. And they help keep their vessel running, given the right materials.