Some of my friends were adamant about keeping their fathers' names. I've always missed the point of that, from a feminism stance--your father's name, your husband's name--it still a male relative's name. If you're so against taking a man's name, take your mom's name--oh, wait.

Why is a man's name his own and a woman's name her father's? This is MY name, its on the title. If my last name had been Mott because my parents liked applesauce it wouldn't be applesauce's name or the company's name or the guy who founded the company's name it would be mine.

Why is a man's name his own and a woman's name her father's? This is MY name, its on the title. If my last name had been Mott because my parents liked applesauce it wouldn't be applesauce's name or the company's name or the guy who founded the company's name it would be mine.

That's what I was trying to say last night. Possibly I was addled by pizza and beer. And ice cream with sprinkles. Those sprinkles, man. They'll getcha.

Part of it was I didn't particularly feel my adopted father's name *was* MY name. I've never felt particularly rooted, not in heritage, genetic or culture, not in family--all my parents' siblings had their kids a generation before me. I was held in a sort of absent fondness by their families; some of those people holding remnants of the societal beliefs that both adoption and bastardy were shameful and best ignored when possible. Add to that my trenchant introspection and dislike of groups of people, and well, there didn't seem a lot of value to my father's family's *name*. Then of course, he, like my mom, was illegitimate, so their family names were only extended to them as a courtesy, anyway.

If you feel attached to your family heritage and name, if it's important to you, then it has great value, and I understand how difficult the choice can be.

I only intended to provide another point of view--a pretty singular one, I admit.

I'm not attached to my name because of heritage though, I'm attached to it because its MY name. It always has been.

Since we tried to elope, my name change was doubly fraught. I wanted to keep my middle name instead of my maiden name, because it was my grandmother's name (my father's mother) and I thought it would be a nice tribute to my family. Only my family read it as me wanting to reject them entirely. So I just kept everything and added his on.

I'm not attached to my name because of heritage though, I'm attached to it because its MY name. It always has been.

With me, it's a bit of both. Having a different name would just be weird to me. But also, this name has history. I can trace it back to the first person who adopted the name, in Poland in the 1830s or so, and there's a nice story behind it, and I can say with near certainty that I am related to every single person in the world who shares my last name.

I am related to every single person in the world who shares my last name.

That is rather cool!

I had 3 weddings. Each with lots of people. All were great fun for me. There were things I would have done differently, but mostly I just enjoyed getting married to the person I loved, and being surrounded by friends and family while eating, drinking, and being merry!

I used to think I'd never change my name because it was my father's name, and he died when I was so young that I wanted to hold on to his name. Now I think I would be open to keeping it as my middle name if the name I'd be taking were a name I liked a lot. Which sounds kind of shallow, but I'm pretty sure is true. I'd never give up my current last name, but it doesn't have to be last anymore. Of course, who knows how I'd actually feel if it were to come up. This is just my best guess.

A friend took her husband's name, but she changed the spelling of it (added an "m") so it would look like it was pronounced and had him change his name officially, too. His parents were annoyed, but he has said over the years that it actually ended up being nice not having people mispronounce his name anymore.

I am related to every single person in the world who shares my last name.

That's true for my last name as well. We all spring from a common ancestor who came to America from Germany in the 1700s and anglicized his name. I'm sure there are people with the original German name ("Schmeh") who are not related, but all of the actual Smays are from the same Johann that landed in Delaware.

I can say with near certainty that I am related to every single person in the world who shares my last name.

If you go with my married name, that's true for me too. Then again, there's only the 4 of us.