there's nothing wrong with seeing the crown jewels and things along those lines, it's just that I've done it before, and didn't enjoy it enough to do it again.

No, I've done it too, but I really don't need to do it again either. Not to mention I had the worst anxiety attack walking up the Tower of London stairs to see them.

Vortex,

It is probably evident, but I agree with sj. Going to London is not inexpensive and it is for your birthday and gosh darnit, you should do what you want to do with the people you want.

This is one of the rewards of being an adult. We have bills to pay and bullshit, but when we can exercise free association and agency, it feels really good.

Steph, so glad you bought the blue dress! You will look awesome!

My brain is mush, so that's all I've got.

Tep, have them make a sample smaller cake a few months ahead.

Also, one of few great things about planning a wedding? You can call up EVERY bakery in town that does weddings, say "Hi, we're planning our wedding and shopping for our cake", and then go on epic cake tasting tours. Seriously. This is something bakeries do.

We took Mom and Stepdad out today for Stepdad's birthday, and then we went to see my niece again, because she is just so damn cute. Who could resist this face? I fed her peaches and cereal.

"Hi, we're planning our wedding and shopping for our cake"

What if you're just planning to ... eat a lot of cake?

Hey Ginger, want to go to London for my birthday?

I wish I could, but I'm afraid my funds are committed to exciting trips through the PET scan machine. The good news is that my blood work is normal, and last week's PET scan didn't show any spread outside my bones, which is about as good as I can hope for.

Tim's objection to the cupcakes -- at least, that he's told me about -- is that they're messy and drop crumbs because people eat them with their hands rather than on a plate with forks, and that means more for the B&B staff to clean up. I pointed out that our families aren't howler monkeys and will be neat and clean, but he was still dubious.

Serve them on a plate with a fork?

What if you're just planning to ... eat a lot of cake?

Well, save that confession for here after you taste ALL THE CAKES. If you put it on Facebook, some local bakery police might see it and cry shenanigans on your cake tasting tour.

I don't really care about the timing, I just don't want to go a trip with someone I don't know who may have different motivations for being there. I want to see theatre, go to a few museums, eat at some good places, and hang out in pubs. Is it bad to say I don't want to go now?

No, it's not bad. It's honest.

But, I have to be honest, Vortex. I would want to see the crown jewels again if I went. We can never go to London together. Or plan a few hours apart.

Amy, I think you and S totally should have a recommitment ceremony. Those can have cake. Presto, cake tasting.