Yes, helping newleyweds set up their household can be fun!

Registries for a third marriage are not as much fun (in my opinion). A cousin announced an engagement for a 4th marriage recently and I vowed to myself not to send a gift.

Sparky, why couldn't he eat the cake?

I like cupcakes, and could see them solving a fair number of cake-related issues (like, hard to have multiple cakes, but you could have some gluten free cupcakes and some vegan and some with bacon and all the wheat)

I've seen cupcakes instead of wedding cake on Offbeat Bride and one couple had an assortment of pies instead of wedding cake.

I'm down with cupcakes, although I'm not sure how Tim feels. I mean, he likes cupcakes in general -- he would never turn one down if it was offered -- but he might want an actual cake for his wedding.

Registries for a third marriage are not as much fun (in my opinion). A cousin announced an engagement for a 4th marriage recently and I vowed to myself not to send a gift.

Since this is Tim's second marriage, I figure some people won't give us gifts, and I don't really care. I don't know how to do the math on Tim's Second Marriage + Steph's First Marriage, so whatever.

Sparky, why couldn't he eat the cake?

He doesn't mix milk & meat, so since he ate meat at the meal, he couldn't have a dessert with milk in it. We had a dairy-free kosher cupcake that a friend brought from Seattle.

Awww, I think people are going to want to give you both lots of wedding gifts (including me). This particular relative is a serial monogamist who married someone new every 3 or 4 years (in one case with days in between marriages). I've spent several hundreds of dollars over the years to be part (or sponsor) of her weddings. Very different from you and Tim. I'm sorry if I sounded judgmental of you guys!

Since this is Tim's second marriage, I figure some people won't give us gifts, and I don't really care. I don't know how to do the math on Tim's Second Marriage + Steph's First Marriage, so whatever.

I think the math is that his friends and relatives might not feel as obligated to give a gift or as generous a gift as your friends and family might. Or at least that is the way it should be in my mind. I can't imagine not registering. I know I probably shouldn't have with eloping, but my mother still insisted I have a wedding shower. I just don't trust my relatives to know my taste; even with a registry I got some things that I hated.

I'm sorry if I sounded judgmental of you guys!

Oh, no, I didn't mean that! It's just that it has occurred to me that people might think "Second wedding, they're both in their 40s, eh, they have everything they need."

Which totally ignores my bottomless need for a bitchin' food processor. Or maybe a coffeemaker that can think.

my mother still insisted I have a wedding shower.

Oh, man. I didn't even think about a shower. Well, maybe someone will give me a shower gift of the Apron You Wear To Dance For Money. (I will never stop being appalled/amused by that. Partly because of the specificity of it being an apron -- I have a BATMAN apron, yo, and I will wear it if you insist that I wear an apron to my wedding. Although, having read previous posts, I'm glad it doesn't involve safety pins.)

I think if one person hasn't been married before the wedding should be treated like a first wedding. Etiquette people might not agree but it doesn't seem fair that one person misses out on certain wedding experiences they may want because the other person got married.

Incidentally on non-gluten cake or cupcakes. I have thought that is really delicious - the only downside is that this cake is emphatically not compatible with chocolate. Cassava coconut cake. (Cassava is the plant from which tapioca is made). Cassava coconut was a type of cake that was offered a lot when I lived in a Filipino community, though I suspect that that is not the only culture that makes it. The recipe I was served includes wheat flour, I'm sure the flavor of rice flour would be VERY compatible. Apparently the classic (more pudding like) Filipino recipe does is naturally gluten free. (Assuming eggs are gluten free) [link]

I think a little rice flour in that recipe would be very like what I was served, and though still very moist, is slightly more cake like. Also a Vietmese recipe [link]

Bonus, the Filipono recipe version is non-dairy. Also if you really wanted to cater to a variety of dietary needs, I'll bet egg substitutes would work well in the Filipino version, especially if you added rice flour. That would make it Vegan

Downside, as I said, IMO these flavors are incompatible with chocolate. No chocolate frosting, no adding chocolate or coco to the recipe.

I don't think the black beans are going to be fully cooked by dinner time. I guess I should come up with a back-up plan for tonight so I can let the beans cook a few more hours and then serve them for dinner on Wednesday (we're going out tomorrow night with friends).