Mostly I'm posting this to feel less alone, and hope that it will kickstart me into at least putting clothes on.

Awww, not alone. But do get showered and dressed. And call your boss.

Hugs to you, smonster. I find getting dressed helps me to feel better, so I fully endorse putting on clothes.

I need to scrounge up some motivation to grade. 2nd cup of coffee isn't quite doing it.

smonster, you are not alone! Call your boss and tell him the truth or a plausible lie, whatever you need. I've had that convo with my boss, it's not comfortable. People who can get up early even though they hate to seem to have trouble understanding people who will just sleep through alarms (like me).

Can't call boss, phone is dead. Left my charger with D, which is the other reason I need to put on clothes - so I can go pick it up from him. So I guess I'll email my boss. He's pretty understanding, I'd just feel better if I hadn't had to do this just a week or so ago.

I turned on the heat and I've put on socks and my work clothes are sitting right here next to me on the bed. And I'm listening to a dharma talk on fear.

I really wonder how much my chronic pain plays into my anxiety and my difficulty in getting up (because I toss and turn and don't sleep very well).

Steph, I am just so happy and excited for you and Tim. Congratulations a million times over!

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{{{smonster}}} I'm sorry things are so hard.

{{{{{smonster}}}}} You are not alone.

I really wonder how much my chronic pain plays into my anxiety and my difficulty in getting up (because I toss and turn and don't sleep very well).

If you're anything like me, a lot.

Seska, thanks. I'll ask my doctor if that supplement may work better for me when I see him next week. I'm taking Slow-Fe at the moment because iron supplements upset my stomach. Even the slow-fe doesn't really play well with my stomach, but it is better than the others I've tried.

Right now I'm actually feeling very happy that my iron levels are so low because it's making me feel less awful about how sloth like I've been lately. Even if it means I need to get a few iron infusions, at least it's a reason.

Dressed and going to get my charger. Of course, now it's raining, so I may get the day off anyway.

So it's 11:30 and I'm not at work. I'm falling down a shame and self-loathing spiral. I don't know how to reconcile "3.5 hrs late to work" with "not a bad person." I've struggled all my life to get out of bed in the morning, and it's getting worse instead of better. I didn't get drunk yesterday, took a 2 hr nap, and was in bed by 10 pm, so it's not like I partied too hard on Mardi Gras

*hugs* Not a bad person. Chronic pain + anxiety is more than enough of a reason for finding it not just difficult, but near-impossible to get up in the mornings.

FWIW, I'm taking two months out of my PhD at the moment for various dull reasons, and I share some of your frustration and feelings of being a rubbish person. But you are not.

((((smonster)))) I wish I had the words.

Seska, you are most definitely not rubbish. I wish TCG and I could come visit you and your DW again. We had such a good time with you.