Tea: Those beans that I mentioned the other day were apparently destined for the trash. I did make soup with them last night, which we ate several bowls of, and then this morning TCG and I realized it never made it to the fridge.

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Happy birthday to your son, Laura. May 21 be a good year for both of you.

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We likely should all have died around here for all the stuff that gets left on the counter, in the microwave, in the oven, and then gets consumed. We are way too loose with those rules.

We'll see how 21 goes. I did give him a 'welcome to being an adult' talk where I explained that the buck now stops with him. This is it. Line in sand. I also gave him a Nook that he is over the moon about. His dad and a couple other people suggested that it may get stolen because of the company he keeps. If that happens it is just a lesson he needs to learn. He was so psyched he right away found a pdf version of the book he just took out from the library and zoomed to his current page so he could return the book. It was nice to see him giddy as a kid over the new toy.

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We likely should all have died around here for all the stuff that gets left on the counter, in the microwave, in the oven, and then gets consumed. We are way too loose with those rules.

I do admit to being extra paranoid about food safety stuff. I mostly hate to cook with meat, because I worry about raw meat juices getting everywhere and poisoning us all. So usually when I cook with any meat that can just be dumped directly from the packaging into the pan, I leave the kitchen and let TCG prep it, and come back in to cook it. I keep a strict 3 day rule on anything that has been cooked and put leftover in the fridge, but I have started relaxing that rule a bit when it comes to things without any meat in them. No, I have never claimed to be particularly sane.

I hope your son takes good care of the nook, and that 21 ends up being a great year for him. The nephew I mentioned above whose birthday is also today got C's on his most recent report card rather than A's only because he refuses to do homework. He reminds me too much of me at that age (even though we're not blood related), which worries me.

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Oh my goodness, everyone. I just caught up on the last few days in here and have a lot to say, but phones are hard for mearas. I must now go track down my laptop so I can respond appropriately. For now, hugs.

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Ugh, I know that 17 thing well too! Bobby has senioritis big time and just isn't doing his work. I hope I have made it clear enough that it isn't going to work for me. Other than the school crap he is pretty awesome so I am trying to deal.

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Ugh, I know that 17 thing well too! Bobby has senioritis big time and just isn't doing his work. I hope I have made it clear enough that it isn't going to work for me. Other than the school crap he is pretty awesome so I am trying to deal.

Nephew is still a junior, and hasn't done homework regularly in years, without threats, etc. He's ridiculously brilliant too.

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The brilliant kid thing is super challenging in the short term, but it is the thing that keeps me hopeful for the long term. I have always believed strongly that all the youthful transgressions were fleeting events and that one day will come the light bulb moment, or series of moments, and success will follow. Just have to keep them from doing permanent harm type stuff.

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meara

And appropriately, I want to start with meara by saying how wonderful I think you are and how much I believe you would make an amazing partner for some lucky woman. I'm sorry it's been so difficult, and I'm extremely sorry you've felt so unwanted. You are beautiful, intelligent, successful, and fun. In short, a catch.

Laura, I'm so sorry things have been so rough with the older son. I agree that what you describe sounds like classic and very severe ADHD. I hope he agrees to do some testing and tries some meds (I think that is a way money would not be in any way enabling); they may well change his life.

I just submitted an application to adopt this dog: [link] They say they'll take a few days to respond, so I guess now I wait.

Hil, what a sweet dog! I wish you luck in your application.

Omnis, I am speechless. How horrific. Please don't hesitate about this--you need to tell your mom, and you definitely need to be ready to explain that he is no longer welcome in your home.

Based on the records, it's not some "Oh, I was 21, and dated a 16 year old and her parents pressed charges" thing. It's rape. 3 times. […] Personally, were this my mom or my sister, I would also report the relationship and hopefully the break-up to the local PD's Sex Crimes division to have it on record, have her change her locks, and sign her up for a self-defense course.

He's definitely on the official Megan's List: [link]. He's listed as "transient," so if he does acquire an address, you need to report it. You probably should tell the police where he is, because they may have outstanding warrants.

What Erin and Ginger said. This is EXACTLY how Megan's Law is meant to work. I know you are empathetic and always want to see the best in people, but Omnis, this is not minor. Three convictions for three very serious, very vile acts--he is a serial rapist. This is a dangerous, evil man, Omnis, and those mug shots are recent.

Those 3 offenses -- not 1, THREE -- listed are not just a red flag; they are a fucking California king-sized quilt of HELL NO. They are violent sexual crimes against women.

Exactly. Have empathy for his victims. This is not someone who you should feel even a second of empathy about.

Damn Scrappy! So awful! My school laid off our HR person five years ago, and it was the most disgusting, stupid decision they've made. Our business office director, who is also a giant jerk in many ways, is now also the HR person. In theory. Which basically means we don't have an HR person. I wish you all the luck in the world in finding another job swiftly.

Odds are everything will go perfectly well. But he's nearly out of resilience on coping with his body's collapse.

Oh Connie, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for his anxiety and stress and for you trying to be a caregiver and supporter for someone who doesn't want you to do so. Your love for your husband is palpable, even when he is difficult to deal with, and I wish you everything good in helping him cope. I agree that creating a spreadsheet with all of his past medical info and current medications is a great idea. Then you can bring a copy any time you are going in and write "see attached" on the forms so you don't have to write it all out over and over again. Also, this:

He's lucky to have you, Connie. Being understood is one of the greatest gifts to be given.

Scrappy is, as usual, wise.

And finally {{sj}} because you've got a lot on your mind right now. I'm sorry it's been so hard.

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Thanks, Pix. I feel guilty for being so whiny lately, but lately I feel if I don't brain dump some of this stuff somewhere it is going to overwhelm me. I'm grateful to have a safe place to do those brain dump.

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