Grieving is such a singular thing; nobody does it the same, there is no map, there just is.

So much this.

bonny, I'm glad to see you back and doing all right.

Maria, I can't add to anything already but echo it. I'm always impressed at how willing you are to engage with what you're feeling. I didn't; I shut down and it took me years to really deal with it and start to move on.

I could never comfortably live in the deep South red states anymore. It's bad enough here in Virginia, though I've found this little mostly-liberal pocket. But I need mountains and forests.

Hiya, bonny. Glad you are feeling better.

Maria, I have no wise words of my own, just adding my love and support and listening eyes (what?) to the rest of the Bitches.

{{{ Maria }}}

Thanks Zen and smonster.

It's good to be seen! t /Tick

I'm okay. A bit washed out, but okay. Seeing the podiatrist tomorrow. SO hoping for a long term solution to avoid this ugliness ever happening again.

SO hoping for a long term solution to avoid this ugliness ever happening again.

And to this end is where I will direct the ~ma. Good to see you getting back to normal.

And to this end is where I will direct the ~ma.

CHEERS, indeed.

What, Laura said, Bonny. Long term solution~ma.

So a friend had a meltdown on the phone with me yesterday. I made her promise to call or text me today just to let me know she is okay. As usual, I've heard nothing today, and in a few months I will be expecting another call with another meltdown on the same issue with nothing having changed in the interim. Later, rinse, and repeat. I'm worried about her, but there is not much I can do from where I am, and I'm also aggravated because the only time she calls or texts is when there is something she needs to vent about. I've been trying to call her a couple times a week to just check in, but then when there is no reciprocation I get aggravated again. Sorry for the brain dump, but I just really needed to get that out somewhere.

Good grief, sj. You are a more patient woman than I. Considering how much of an emotional toll the relationship takes on you I'd say you need to find a way to either break the pattern, or at least not let her upset you with her drama.

Thanks, Laura. I have no idea how to break the patter. I tried to by calling her more often, but if it is not one of those days she wants to vent about what is going on, she just won't talk about it. She's "fine". I'm not a part of her meatspace life anymore, so I don't really know how bad things are on a daily basis for her. I guess that not answering the phone just as I am about to sit down to dinner would be a good start in changing how she is affecting my life, calling her back when I am more prepared to deal with it. Maybe? But I think I'd feel guilty doing that.