'The Message'
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
This might be better for LJ but mine is read by some local peeps and I don't feel like making a new filter.
Since Sunday, I've been dealing with a situation regarding father of my coming baby. It's serious and I could fix it but he hasn't asked me too. And I know we are all better off without him in our lives at the moment. But I miss him and I believe in him.
It's like, I know you can't fix and change people, but I still want to. Which is really, really frustrating.
Yeah, that's tough. The urge to fix is always strong, but it's not always the right thing to do. Is it something that he might have the wherewithal to fix himself? If you really believe in him, what you might need to be able to do is believe in his own ability to get through his own junk.
I skipped cardio after work today in order to free up more evening time for cat-bath night. Been dreading and putting this off for weeks, but of course it was completed with a minimum of stress or injury. Now the heat is running full blast (all the way up to 70!) and the cats are alternating btween hating me for the terrible, horrible thing i did to them and purring on my lap, using my body heat to help them dry off faster. Kinda love my wet, fluffy guys right now.
He might, but likely not. And actually, I think the answer lies in something that I recently realized. My life got way better when I stopped holding on so tight and just let go.
I mean, sometimes you can't learn when everyone around you is fixing your stuff for you. And yeah, I may just have to believe that he will make it through, but not on my timeline.
Hope it resolves, Stephanie.
Stephanie, sounds tough all around, but you are making some good decisions.
smonster, tipsy-quoting Dot Parker = LOVE.
Also, if you run out of half-and-half, search the car and couch and purses and coat pockets for change, buy the smallest, cheapest cup of coffee you can at a large chain convenient store, and take a enough of those half and half thingies to see you through to payday.
And half and half is .99 for a pint at TJ's.
I know that's so hard to do, Stephanie. And I'm not in your shoes, so I don't know what the right call is, especially when there's the element of the heart in there. But I think you're right. Letting go is super hard. And it's awful to watch people go through stuff you know they don't have to, but sometimes it's like the butterfly coming out of the chrysalis...the struggle is necessary.
I hope this doesn't come off the wrong way; I really empathize.
Stephanie, it's a tough situation you are in. I don't have easy answers (or really, any tough answers, either) but I do have lots of supportive thoughts for you - ~ma for you to hold on, and some for the father of your baby, that he can work his way through whatever this challenge is, so he can come out the other side and justify your belief in him.
I don't have any advice, Stephanie, but it sounds like what you need isn't advice so much as empathy, and that I have. {{hugs}}