Also, Islam is not the dominant culture here.

So because Christianity is dominant, it's okay to be uncomfortable by it?

So because Christianity is dominant, it's okay to be uncomfortable by it?

I think, to a large extent, yes. Replace "Christian/Christmas" with some other privileged group and something that is "theirs", and then assume by default that everyone--even people not in that group--would be into it. For people outside that group, there is not a non-problematic way they can respond. If you're not into macho/sports culture, you can go along to the Superbowl party, you can choose a different way to celebrate it (e.g. Puppy bowl), you can quietly opt out, you can explain why you don't like it, etc, etc. And the superbowl is not half as fraught or nearly as all-consuming within the culture as Christmas is. For a month (or more).

I don't begrudge people of color whatever relationship they find workable with Anglo-dominated media. I try not to begrudge feminist-leaning parents whatever relationship they end up with with princess culture. I may find some of them a little inexplicable or eye-rolly, but people do the best they can when something is unavoidable and not theirs.

Plus, didn't they decorate the house Hil is living in? That was the impression I got. I'd be more irked by that that my neighbors having stuff or whatever.

Don't they live in the house as well as Hil?

I think, to a large extent, yes.

So, if I'm understanding your position, it is okay to be uncomfortable by any dominant area of your culture but it is not okay to be uncomfortable by non-dominant areas. Is this correct?

Don't they live in the house as well as Hil?

My understanding is yes. They are decorating their own house that they live in.

My understanding is yes. They are decorating their own house that they live in.

Yes. They're not deliberately trying to make her uncomfortable. But is it really hard to understand that the Christmas onslaught can feel exclusionary when you are outside of the overwhelmingly dominant mainstream tradition? And it might make you feel a bit uncomfortable?

The landlord isn't doing anything wrong, and I haven't heard Hil or anyone suggest otherwise. But her reaction seems unexceptionable to me and I'm not sure why it seems so objectionable to others.

(Onslaught feels more negative than I mean it but I'm not coming up with a less loaded word.)

But her reaction seems unexceptionable to me and I'm not sure why it seems so objectionable to others.

I never said it was objectionable and I don't recall anyone else saying it was either. I'm trying to understand when it is and when it is not okay to be uncomfortable by someone's otherness.

When you're a tiny minority religion and someone in the dominant religion decorates your house for their holiday it seems ok to find that uncomfortable.

Its their house too of course, which is why its just "uncomfortable" and not "why the hell did you decorate my house, weird-o?"

So, the consensus I'm hearing is that it is okay to be uncomfortable with otherness as long as that otherness is the dominant culture. Does this seem correct?

People in my office do some decorating in their cubes this time of year. There are a number of small trees, kids' holiday art, etc. The person in the cube across from mine has an electric menorah, and she's adding in another bulb every day. I like coming in each morning and seeing the new lights. It's pretty, and I'm glad she feels comfortable sharing a bit of her seasonal celebrations here. I'd probably feel a bit more "um, really?" if she was doing this on my front porch, even if she owned the building, and Judaism isn't close to the dominant culture in NC.