why not raise a stink to get them back?

Because it's not worth the anguish to me. It's not going to bring him back, and it's not going to change the reality of our life together.

As for Coco, his parents found her, and we've always had a long-standing joint custody arrangement. I had no qualms about them taking the dog. I work long hours and am gone frequently enough that Coco would have been miserable. She's a beagle and needs companionship--human or another dog. We were going to continue that arrangement, just flipped. I'd occasionally get her when I had the opportunity to do so. She was much more Rob's dog anyway. I was tolerated at best. She went to work with him, she went flying with him, and she ran to him first when she was happy or upset. I was perfectly content for them to keep her because I knew I'd see her, but it's all different now. It doesn't change the fact that I'm not in a position to keep Coco full time. As much as I hate to admit it, she is better off with them.

Sending you much love, Maria

Putting the doggy first is no small feat, Maria. Good onya.

Maria's out-laws

I love this term. So appropriate for these people.

I more than occasionally have fantasies of a dozen of us showing up at Maria's out-laws and politely taking back the puppy.

OK, maybe not the puppy. How about the hockey stick?

Nah, Maria's made the healthiest possible decision for herself. It's hard for us, because we want everything to be right for our friend, but she's doing the right thing for herself. She's made a calculated decision, and it's a good one, if difficult. It hurts to lose the stuff, but in the end, it's just the stuff. So Maria's intent to live her life now as cleanly as possible is a really good one.

Nah, Maria's made the healthiest possible decision for herself. It's hard for us, because we want everything to be right for our friend, but she's doing the right thing for herself.

Liese speaks the truth here, as she so often does. Letting go is good.

Liese is smart. But we knew that.

Lies is smart. And, you know, emotionally mature ...

::grumblegrumble::

Oh Maria. I'm so sorry. Liese is indeed wise, and for what it's worth, you have another door open here in Pasadena for an escape (so long as you don't mind the dog and four cats that come with it).

And sj, I hope you get good news soon. You know I can empathize.