Probably I got unpacked quickly is because it's something I can do, can effect. Life is pretty uncontrollable and I can control my surroundings here.
How is your dad doing?
Not well.
Stepmom actually went on a short trip and so I stayed with him for three days (Thurs, Fri and yesterday my siblings took over midway through the day) in which there were a few nice moments. There were some really hard moments too. He ended up needing to go to the ER for fluids yesterday but they released him later. I was surprised. I was on my way home to pack new clean clothes and instead got to sleep in my own bed last night.
It's really hard watching him decline so much. And it frustrates him which I completely understand. He was always the smartest guy in the room. He'd be horrified at his life now. The physical limitations are huge but it's the mental impairment that breaks my heart.
He's not going to get any better. Every change from now on is going to be further down. So I am trying to prepare myself for losing my dad. And, really, I've mostly lost him already. I'm pretty sure that's not going to help.
Which is a depressing answer to your question. Sorry.
Oh, Cass, it's so hard, isn't it?
It's totally okay, it's the honest answer to the question. I'm glad you were able to stay with him, though, that's part of why you're there, right? But yeah, it's just not easy.
Oh, {{{{{Cass}}}}}. Please, don't be sorry. I genuinely wanted to know, or I wouldn't have asked. I'm sorry that things are so difficult.
I'm sorry Cass. That does sound hard.
Which is a depressing answer to your question. Sorry.
Don't apologize for this. You don't offend with your truth.
Cass, don't apologize! It's true, and it's so hard.
((( Cass ))) We are here for ya.
{{{{Cass}}}} You are doing such a wonderful thing, being there for him and the rest of the family right now. No one would expect that to be peachy. Nice that yr unpacked tho! I just finished unpacking my last box last week. Seriously, how many years have I been in this house??
I know it's so hard, Cass. But I'm glad you're getting to spend this time with him. Thinking about you.
{{{Cass}}}
By chance, how well does your place keep out the weather? Is it drafty? Are the windows single pane, and you can feel the outside temperature?
This house was built in 1890. It's incredibly drafty, the windows are all single pane, and during the winter, I put up insulated curtains on the big windows, but it's still freezing.
Oh, Cass, it's so hard, isn't it?
It really is. But it's exactly why I moved here. It would be unbearably hard to not be here.
Actually my Dad even said he was really happy that I had moved. It was on Friday which was a really hard day for him and it was out of the blue. I managed to not completely cry. I am never forgetting that moment.
