I still think the game night could be fun!

Totally! I am always up for game nights!

Especially if you are going to an event that is FOR DATING. IJS.

That is what is confusing me. I went to a dating event. Why is it weird to, at least initially, try for a date? I mean...isn't that why one goes to a dating event?

I don't think the issue is "try for a date," really. I think the issue is what your expectations seem to be for meeting that date. The key thing to remember here is that the women you're interacting with are fully formed people with their own ideas and motivations. Shift the focus from what they will/can be to you. Instead try to learn about them.

Good point. Thanks.

Of course no one wants P-C to be that "Nice Guy" who is only interested in a girl as "will she be a girlfriend for me? No? Moving on to the next lady!"

But reading everyone saying "OMG, no, she could still totally be into you! Not responding to you asking her out and mentioning a group activity could totally mean she's shy or slow or wants to be friends before dating!!" makes me feel like you're encouraging him to KEEP trying to date her, y'know? Whereas I feel like a healthy "OK, maybe she's not into me, I asked her out BECAUSE WE MET AT A DATING EVENT (note: That's kinda key), but oh well, because I barely knew her and therefore didn't have huge investment. Am I interested in game night and being friends? Possible"

Does that make sense?

"OMG, no, she could still totally be into you! Not responding to you asking her out and mentioning a group activity could totally mean she's shy or slow or wants to be friends before dating!!"

Wanting to be friends before dating actually DOESN'T mean Person A is into Person B. What it means is pretty much what the first 6 words said: Wanting. To. Be. Friends. Before. Dating. Which is how some BUT NOT ALL people figure out *if* they're totally into someone.

And then sometimes they just end up as plain old friends, which isn't a bad thing unless they're, like, Lex Luthor. Which still might be cool. But I wouldn't date him.

meara, I get what you're saying. And FTR, I agree that it doesn't sound like she's especially interested in going on a date, nor is it bad or weird to have asked her out. The point I was trying to make was, why not take her up on her invitation anyway? See where it leads, who else you might meet there, etc. I can understand the disappointment over it not leading to a capital-D Date, but the fact that it's brought up the possibility of another fun event where you might get to meet people is, to me, a pretty decent outcome.

I...I was never against going to the game night.

And don't date Lex Luthor.

Well, that would be badass. It's up to you.

All y'all introverts and friends-become-dates people are weird to me.

Yeah. I mean, it's logical and all but attraction doesn't develop over time for me. I guess I could try not making out with people I'm attracted to... but it doesn't seem likely at this point.

P-C, what askye said about being aware of your thoughts and fantasies and being kind to yourself. I am like you in my impatience and tendency to see possibilities for relationships. I mean, y'all witness my cray cray all of the time. You know. I do believe it's part of my temperament (ENFP, hai), but that doesn't mean I'm not aware of the problematic aspects and try to mitigate them.

Wanting. To. Be. Friends. Before. Dating. Which is how some BUT NOT ALL people figure out *if* they're totally into someone

And I think that's perfectly fine, if that's how you function. However, I feel like you can't pin your hopes on someone being that way. I think that you just have to let it go, and then decide whether you are interested in friendship ON ITS OWN, NOT hoping for dating. And if dating happens to later occur, great. But you can't be like "I will make efforts to be friends with her in hopes that she will change her mind/decide that I am dateworthy!" because THAT is exactly what the annoying Nice Guys TM are all about.