I... Am sure I had things to say. But can't think of them. But hi. I'm reading here all the time.

Uh, here too, but heat has sapped my higher brain function.

erika, heh. Now I'm imagining a Kay Howard parenting column and... well, not actually imagining it. Just delighting in my complete inability to imagine it.

And, yeah, the more I think about it the more right it seems that Lydia grew up, wandered a bit, and ended up in San Francisco.

Matilda update: the new medicine is going fine, and she took her third dose with only minor prompting and barely any bullying at all, which is good because my mom left and Hec isn't back yet and I'm just not up to soloing both the good and bad cop roles. And she gave me a moment of folkie parent nirvana earlier today: on our way out and about on errands she sang along with every song on Greg Brown's Bathtub Blues, and when we got home in the middle of "Young Robin" she said plaintively, "Can we stay in the car a minute? I want to hear the whole song." Oh, my heart!

Princess Dobbycry apologized for not responding to me earlier, saying work was crazy and she didn't check that e-mail address often. Then she said she'd been in touch with other folks and she was hoping to have a game night in the near future. No response at all to the pie or any sort of individual connection. So, meh, whatever.

She wants to invite you to a game night! That's good. If I were her, that would mean that she's interested in you but she hasn't decided to commit to being interested in you so she's planning to see you again but with other people around as a buffer in case she decides not to be interested in you then she won't have to break up with you but it still leaves open the possibility of starting to date you. See?

Also, game night is kinda like a road trip, with less danger. It lets you see the other person's personality and how compatible you might be. You get to see them under pressure, you still get to stop for snacks, but you won't have to ditch them at a 7-11 outside of Fayetteville just to save yourself. Not that I'm projecting or anything.

Yeah, that requires a "Hey, keep me in the loop for game night! That sounds fun. What games were people thinking?"

(If you ask a question about something the person is doing or interested in, especially when it is the last sentence of your response, you are more likely to get a conversation going, albeit it a shallow one.)

Eh, I'm going to go against the grain of optimism and say if you asked her out and she said. Itching about it but mentioned a group activity, she's not into you.

Doesn't mean she won't ever be, but unlikely.

I'm with you. I kept giving her openings, and she wasn't stepping through. (I mean, a simple, "Oh, that's too bad, maybe we can try again later" goes a long way.)

I don't know about "meh, whatever" if a girl you like suggests spending time together. No, it's not solo time, nor naked solo time with lubricant and sex toys, but...it's something you're going to enjoy, right? You're not "settling" and suffering through something horrible just to keep avenues of communication open, just maybe--you're hanging out with a cool person.

There's nothing whatever about that. No, she may not have decided to have your babies, but "meh" makes it sound like being friends with her is a shitty consolation prize.

This invite means absolutely nothing. It doesn't mean she wants to hump your leg, and it doesn't mean she'll never marry you. All you know it means is that she'd like you at game night. Go. Enjoy game night. Don't attach anything else to it, but hey! Game night with coolness! That's one more game night than you had yesterday, right? Net win?

I'm explicitly not recommending Nice Guy behaviour here, but if I'd done what she's done, it would mean that the contents are precisely what it says in the packaging. That, and only that.

"meh" makes it sound like being friends with her is a shitty consolation prize.

Well, that's a pretty harsh read. I'm just disappointed that someone I thought might potentially be into me doesn't actually seem to be into me, so now I can stop expending emotional energy on that possibility and move on. Other fish in the sea, etc.

Eh, I'm going to go against the grain of optimism and say if you asked her out and she said. Itching about it but mentioned a group activity, she's not into you.

Eh, I'd rather get to know someone first before actual dating. Which is not to say that's how it should be done, and it's probably not how most people do it. But some people just want some social time first.

I'm just disappointed that someone I thought might potentially be into me doesn't actually seem to be into me

Try getting to know her, and letting her get to know you.

Dating always freaked me out, so I pretty much never did it. I can count on one hand the number of dates-with-guys-I-just-met I had. And they were the most horrible, awkward things ever.

The relationships I actually had? All came out of being friends first. I was friends with Tim for a year before shenanigans ensued.

But, again, I am pokey and a scaredy-cat and definitely demisexual and kind of hate people anyway. So I was NEVER going to be into the whole "Hello person I barely know, yes I would love to spend a horribly awkward one-on-one evening full of unspoken expectations and assumptions with you."

All I can say for sure is that my way worked for me. But I have to think there are other people out there who prefer the get-to-know-you-as-friends-first thing. And they may have game nights.