Spike's Bitches 47: Someone Dangerous Could Get In
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Yeah, that requires a "Hey, keep me in the loop for game night! That sounds fun. What games were people thinking?"
(If you ask a question about something the person is doing or interested in, especially when it is the last sentence of your response, you are more likely to get a conversation going, albeit it a shallow one.)
Eh, I'm going to go against the grain of optimism and say if you asked her out and she said. Itching about it but mentioned a group activity, she's not into you.
Doesn't mean she won't ever be, but unlikely.
I'm with you. I kept giving her openings, and she wasn't stepping through. (I mean, a simple, "Oh, that's too bad, maybe we can try again later" goes a long way.)
I don't know about "meh, whatever" if a girl you like suggests spending time together. No, it's not solo time, nor naked solo time with lubricant and sex toys, but...it's something you're going to enjoy, right? You're not "settling" and suffering through something horrible just to keep avenues of communication open, just maybe--you're hanging out with a cool person.
There's nothing whatever about that. No, she may not have decided to have your babies, but "meh" makes it sound like being friends with her is a shitty consolation prize.
This invite means absolutely nothing. It doesn't mean she wants to hump your leg, and it doesn't mean she'll never marry you. All you know it means is that she'd like you at game night. Go. Enjoy game night. Don't attach anything else to it, but hey! Game night with coolness! That's one more game night than you had yesterday, right? Net win?
I'm explicitly not recommending Nice Guy behaviour here, but if I'd done what she's done, it would mean that the contents are precisely what it says in the packaging. That, and only that.
"meh" makes it sound like being friends with her is a shitty consolation prize.
Well, that's a pretty harsh read. I'm just disappointed that someone I thought might potentially be into me doesn't actually seem to be into me, so now I can stop expending emotional energy on that possibility and move on. Other fish in the sea, etc.
Eh, I'm going to go against the grain of optimism and say if you asked her out and she said. Itching about it but mentioned a group activity, she's not into you.
Eh, I'd rather get to know someone first before actual dating. Which is not to say that's how it should be done, and it's probably not how most people do it. But some people just want some social time first.
I'm just disappointed that someone I thought might potentially be into me doesn't actually seem to be into me
Try getting to know her, and letting her get to know you.
Dating always freaked me out, so I pretty much never did it. I can count on one hand the number of dates-with-guys-I-just-met I had. And they were the most horrible, awkward things ever.
The relationships I actually had? All came out of being friends first. I was friends with Tim for a year before shenanigans ensued.
But, again, I am pokey and a scaredy-cat and definitely demisexual and kind of hate people anyway. So I was NEVER going to be into the whole "Hello person I barely know, yes I would love to spend a horribly awkward one-on-one evening full of unspoken expectations and assumptions with you."
All I can say for sure is that my way worked for me. But I have to think there are other people out there who prefer the get-to-know-you-as-friends-first thing. And they may have game nights.
Matilda update:
Glad the medicine horror has subsided, and I'm glad you were able to get the folkie parent joy as a bit of Good Stuff after a long, awful, solo parenting week. Hang in!
Oh, also, I hung out with Tom in a group of Buffistas for at least a year before we started hanging out together as friends and them, well, you know. I had a boyfriend through a lot of that, but having that time to get to know Tom as the awesome dude he is without any pressure whatsoever made the eventual payoff pretty awesome.
Who knows how it will turn out... hope you have some fun times though without expectation one way or the other!
P-C, I say if she follows through and invites you to a game night, go. Whether or not she is interested, you may still meet some other interesting people.
I'm just disappointed that someone I thought might potentially be into me doesn't actually seem to be into me
No, what happened was you defined a number of tests for "into P-C" and she failed, and you're disappointed she failed the test. But your test doesn't have anything to do with
her.
So just be her friend, nuh? Like a real proper friend with no tests and no hoping, just enjoying her company and getting to know her better instead of auditioning her and waiting for her to decode your signals and getting bummed out because she doesn't have your PGP decryption key.