I've been pretty productive today, which I am proud of. I am especially proud of talking (texting) Joe with some things that I need him to do that will help me be not quite so broken.

But Em broke my heart this morning and I am feeling a bit weepy. I love my girl. I adore her and can't imagine anything without her. But she can be a handful. Lately, all she wants to do is take care of me. She has such good intentions but all of her endeavors make such a freaking mess and, being 7, she leaves it, which gets me all flustered and pissy. Coffee grounds on the floor, water on the floor, dried oatmeal in two rooms.

So this morning I told her I appreciated it but she made such a mess that it kind of makes me mad and she started crying and said that she is just trying to make me happy, which evaporated the mad and made me sad because making me happy IS NOT HER JOB. She's 7. Her job is to play and do what I tell her. Not to take care of her totally broken mommy.

There are a few of us in Natter and Bitches who talk about being the adult children of mentally ill parents and having the same bahaviors and coping skills as adult children of alcoholics. I hate thinking that could be Em in 20 years. And it depresses the shit out of me.

And UGH! Self-involved brain dump.

I think wanting to make you happy is a sign you're not raising a self-involved brat, but someone who loves her Mommy and wants to do nice things for her, like you do for the people you love.

There are a few of us in Natter and Bitches who talk about being the adult children of mentally ill parents and having the same bahaviors and coping skills as adult children of alcoholics. I hate thinking that could be Em in 20 years.

Aw, hon. I feel the same way. Ben has been saddled with Sara too many times when I can't get out of bed, and Sara has seen me cry so often, I don't think it even fazes her anymore.

But as long as there's love, and you can talk about it with them, you'll be good. The love is the most important thing, I think.

I could be wrong, but I think many of those parents were not aware of their issues and/or not working on them in a constructive way. That ain't you.

It isn't your job to be happy all the time, either.

Strix, re: your birthday, I will commune with the budgeting gods this weekend, but I'm pretty sure my inner Suze Orman will say "Are you KIDDING ME, girlfriend? You. Are so. DENIED." I really need a mini-vacation, too, and that would be perfect. Hmm. There must be a way.

Another workday cut short due to weather. Yay for nap, boo might not make 40 hrs this week.

I am sitting on a plastic trunk with those little self clasping thingies, hoping that my weight will squish the pillows inside so the latch thingies stay latched. Seems like a perfect time to whip out the iPad and say, Oy! Moving sucks. And boy is my place dusty!

Aw, Aims. All parents have problems and all kids have problems and all families are dysfunctional in some way because they're just a bunch of humans doing the best they can. You are ahead of the game for being aware of potential issues and not pretending at all costs that everything is fine.

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time.

Tep, get a water-pik...it feels better than flossing and has really improved my gums.I actually look forward to using it. sj, I'll keep an eye out. Lisah, it's all in the game.

Did you get better vibes off New Dentist, Steph?

Oh, HELL yes. The first visit -- when I went to him before the 4th of July for a second opinion -- he spent so much time with me actually *showing* me my x-rays and explaining what was going on, and I realized that Old!Dental Practice *never* showed me my x-rays or explained anything; they would just say "Okay, I'll prescribe you an antibiotic and you need to make an appointment with Dr. Root Canal." You know, without telling me what happened, or even the fact that I needed a root canal.

Anyway, YES. So much better.

Tep, get a water-pik...it feels better than flossing and has really improved my gums.I actually look forward to using it.

Really? I'm a moron about flossing my upper back teeth -- I seriously can't do it right. Maybe a water-pik would save my gums from a horrible decay-ridden death.

It might help...I get better numbers from just using mine a few days a week.(You put mouthwash in with the water, so it helps you rinse...some people use peroxide, but that seems intense to me.)

Aims, I'm at work and don't have the time to type out the story now, but I had a very similar experience when I was 7, trying to comfort my mother when I found her crying after I came home from school. She did her best to explain to me that sometimes events are just overwhelming, and that while comfort from others helps, sometimes it just takes time to get through it. She told me that as much as she wished my love could make everything better immediately and forever, we both had to just take it one step at a time.

As you can see, the memory has stuck with me. If this is not helpful to you, please feel free to ignore it. But I have great faith in your ability to find what works for both your lovely self and your equally lovely daughter.