Yeah, he's someone I stopped talking to (with the exception of the ER visit) after his rant on the evils of health insurance.

Do no harm, my ass.

I was shocked when I was watching the news one night and realized I went to school with a woman who was accused of killing her newborn. She wasn't' someone I knew well, just someone I knew of. There have been several drug arrests too.

Heh. I went to high school with a fellow who is now an ER doc who believes that health insurance is bullshit and people should pay for their medical care out of pocket or just don't get medical care. I am NOT making one syllable of that up.

I have a buddy from college, that is now a dentist, with very similiar views. They seem to be rather Libertarian in skew. The notion is, the amount of money the average person spends on insurance, both employee and and employer paid, would be better off given to the employee to save/invest on their own. And when a doctor visit comes around, they have the money. Of course, part of that problem is, we as Americans tend to not be so great at saving money. Second, that works for a routine visit to the doctor. But once you get tests and what not. Or an ER visit. Or Surgery. Yup. You'd have to save for YEARS. I look at my little fall in Vegas to get dozen stitiches in my nogen. Looks to be over $3,000 in bills for that. So far, just $50 co pay for me. Sure, I've been paying a couple hundred a month from my paycheck. But, if something as simple as some stitches costs $3,000 I can't fathom how much a broken arm would cost.

But, if something as simple as some stitches costs $3,000 I can't fathom how much a broken arm would cost.

BWAHAHAHA!!!

• *cough**

My it's-just-a-sprain-no-it's-broken-oops-let's-do-surgery arm is running about 12K. We have a 5k family deductible.

ACK.

So I spent the morning in a total snit of anxiousness and anger so I gave up the ghost and took one of my Ativan. I should not be sobbing and as frustrated as I was about lack of chore doing by my family as I was feeling.

We'll see if it helps. I just want to feel like me again. When I was unloading on my MIL last night, I started crying because I don't feel like me anymore. I'm not fun, I'm not vivacious, I'm not outgoing, I'm not any of the things that I prided myself on. Instead I'm a broken down, half-assed version of myself. And I hate this version. I hate it like I don't even know what.

...

I may need to call my therapist. Maybe.

I wonder if the "pay up front for medical care" think the same thing about "pay up front for someone to put out your house fire." Fire Departments came to be out of social necessity--"My house won't ever catch fire. What do you mean, my burning house puts your house at risk?" If my radically anti-health-insurance neighbor gets TB, I'll be pissed.

oh Aims. I'm sorry.

Lots of 'ma for you.

{{{{{Aims}}}}} Is there anything we can do to help?

Thanks, sweethearts.

No, there really isn't anything. I need to take some responsibility and make the phone calls I should have made last week and I need to get out of the shell I've been hiding in. It's just ... it's safe in the shell. OUT THERE are people that have expectations - including myself.

The Ativan seems to be kicking in. I'm feeling less anxious and squirmy. Of course, I also want a nap. Which I can not take.

I'm sorry, Aims. It's hard to be fun and vivacious when you're under a ton of stress.

If my radically anti-health-insurance neighbor gets TB, I'll be pissed.

Yeah, and when I hear people bitching about illegal immigrants getting free immunizations and health care I just want to shake them and yell, "Do you understand how viruses work?!?" Communicable diseases do not care about your position on insurance, state and country borders, religion, or political affiliation.