Oh, sure, if you're going to use logic and look at the bright side.

I'm sorry! Gave you the lip and you wanted the ear. Lordy knows I hate making decisions.

After roiling about it for two days, I went to my friend-of-the-cat-care's house this morning and ended our friendship.

I was so fraught, I actually shook. That is not me!

Without getting angry (pushing that down is probably what caused the shaking) I told her that it seemed clear that she considered me a bad friend for not being able to magically divine that she was in crisis and 'crying for help' over her travel plans and that there was no amount of crisis...not death, not disease, not anything...that would inspire me to be rude to her like that.

At one point she said, "Well, I thought I had done so much for you" and then broke off.

Later, I said that I could only imagine that the end of that sentence must be '...that I don't have to be polite' or, '...you don't deserve my respect' which is sadly something my father would have said to me...or her husband would have said to her.

Friendship is not service without civility.

I gave her the money back, and her keys. At that point, SHE seemed angry, but neither of us shouted.

She made a well-worn comment about how she just doesn't know how to ask for help. Which is odd, since she seems so good at it to everyone else.

My surrogate mom called yesterday and, as always, had really good advice. At one point she sort of shouted, "You need new friends!" I laughed, but then about an hour later in the conversation she paused and said, "So. I don't want this point to be lost. How _exactly_ is it that you are going to go about finding some new friends?" At which point, we brainstormed.

I lurve her.

Friendship is not service without civility.

This is very important and true. I'm glad you cut ties with her, Bonny.

I have gas, which gives me hot water, and heat, and cooking! I've put together a lamp for the bedroom. Pulled all the nails from the walls. Patched all the holes I could reach. Talked to a couple neighbors. Discovered the guy who is parking in my outdoor spot has always swapped outdoor spots with the owner of this unit, since he lives in other building, and his spot is at my front door. SCORE!! Found the hot tub, sauna, gym, mailbox and rec room. played ping pong with mom for a few minutes. Am pooped. So much to do!!!

"You need new friends!"

Word. You need some reciprocity in your life, my dear. I hate that people see your beautiful heart and giving soul and take advantage (consciously or because of their own damage).

And by the way, you are a BADASS for handling that situation so forthrightly and with such integrity. You are such a wonderful role model for me.

Hotel scheduled for demolition in a week or two is on fire in a big way downtown - [link]

his spot is at my front door.

Score, indeed!! This is the Universe saying Welcome Home Dude, This is where you belong.

Congrats.

bonny,

as I understand it, you were probably shaking due to adrenaline. that's what happens to poker players.

have peace after your decision. I know it was not easy.

Word. You need some reciprocity in your life, my dear. I hate that people see your beautiful heart and giving soul and take advantage (consciously or because of their own damage).

Aw. Thanks Hon. You are so sweet.

I do think that I need to figure out what _I_ am doing to inspire this behavior. That's two very similar situations in the last 6 months or so. I don't mean that in a 'It's my fault,' sort of way, but in a 'hm. If this is a trend, there is a catalyst. What might that be?' sort of way.

Thanks for the compliment to my badassery. I find it really hard not to face things head on...they live in my brain MUCH bigger and louder and more painfully...when I don't. So, it seems less courage than self-defense. BUT, I will take the pat for integrity. That particular virtue is pretty important to me.

that's what happens to poker players.

No kidding? That makes total sense to me.

And thanks, le n. I know it is the right thing to do. Otherwise, I would be continuing our friendship with a black stain on my heart. Still, there used to be parts I really liked and I'll miss them.

I swear, I feel like I'm being teed up for some major change in my life. I really want it to be a happy one!