the area where age difference alone can be important

What does that mean? That if everything else being good, age is enough to sour the deal? That if there were two great choices, and one's in the ten year range they automatically lose?

Basically, I'm trying to understand what "age difference alone" means, and how can one even be able to separate it out like that.

yuck...sorry, you got some of my okc responders, smonster. Although I am a hardass and was very picky about profiles.

For what it's worth, I sometimes refer to the Buffistas as the people who keep me from acting my age.

I never thought I would end up with a guy 5 years younger than me -- didn't discount it, just seemed more likely that I would suit someone my age or a little older.

I think a 16 year difference would have made me go "Hmm?", but if the person was really interesting and we had similar interests and wanted kind of the same lifestyle (laid-back social life with select close circle of friends, the very occasional semi-semi-wildish party weekend, lots of books, geekery and OK with me not able to have kids or wanting to adopt), I would have gone on a date, sure.

I certainly was not planning on marrying a person younger than I, with a child, but it's worked out very well. Our interests and personalities mesh so well, I love and care well for our child and my partner did not wish to have another child, so was actually quite happy w/ my inability to procreate, as that meant he had no need to get the vasectomy he was contemplating.

But he appeared to have spicy brains, maturity and a great sense of humor from the second I looked at his OKC profile, and further interactions proved this to be true.

Life -- it surprises you.

My serious relationship before Tom was with a dude that was 15 years older than me. And it wasn't his age that was an issue, not even that he was perpetually unemployed. The issue was that he was an ass who made me feel like I was so awful that I'd never do better than him.

IN YOUR FACE, DUDE!!!!!

Also, he cheated on me. And cheated with me on others. It was a bad scene, man.

Yikes, wtf was that annoying trip down memory lane?

I don't think the numbers are the real issue. The thing is, getting involved with someone who is at a different stage of life is tough and impractical. The only reason to do so is that you've already fallen so in love that working out those differences, sacrificing and compromising some life expectations make it worth it.

smonster, you just ended a non-relationship with someone who is not at the same stage of life as you, no matter how similar your ages may have been. While a 16 year difference does not necessarily spell different stages of life, it is still far more likely to be a problem than not. I think you did the right thing for yourself in saying thanks but no thanks.

Yep, agree with WindSparrow; seems like age was less of a factor than the "reads as slightly boring" with Older Guy.

Every time I reactivate my account, I think I'm going to respond to every one who messages me. And then... I get worn down and end up ignoring messages.

I dunno, maybe it's just me, and the utterly abysmal dating scene in LA, but I have kinda come to prefer absolutely no response. Nothing says "not interested" like not responding at all.

I mean, I don't know "where" I am in life, or where I'd need a partner to be. I can barely make heads or tails of the question.

This. This right here.

For color inspiration, I'm going to once again pimp Design Seeds - [link]. See what colors appeal to you.

Not the pink, but the others: [link]

This might blend in nice with the great view, especially in the bedroom: [link]

This is nice. Muted. Maybe a bit too subdued: [link]

Might be a bit too saturated. But love the picture... it might be the moon: [link]

COLORS! but not too vibrant. Too much purple, but that might be a nice accent color: [link]

And that gets me through page 14 of 267 or something. Love that sight! {{{SMONSTER!!!}}}

As for flooring. Carpet is going. The more I think about it, the less I like it. Area rug + floor = fine! Now, to decide what type of flooring. Cork looks cool, absorbs sound, but apparently not good with sunlight or heavy furniture. Not that I have heavy furniture, but when I rearrange, I drag, not lift. I'm leaning towards bamboo. It's more durable than hardwood floors, fast growth, they don't need to clear-cut, just wack the grass above the roots, and it grows back! But, the import from China adds to the carbon footprint. But if the price is good, it's leading the charge.

Also, aside from kitchen fluorescent tubes, and the, um, interesting chandelier in the dining, there is no overhead lighting. Gotta think about that too. I'm thinking, maybe wait a year on that, see if the place needs fans. If it does, then that's the answer. But, being on the windward side of the hill, it will get plenty of air.