There are *so* many reasons for a random 43 year old guy and me to not be a good match that I can't put my finger on why a 33 year old or a 53 year old wouldn't work. It would just come down to people being people.

I mean, I don't know "where" I am in life, or where I'd need a partner to be. I can barely make heads or tails of the question.

Sure- the more boring the more you either say forget or it, or need something in compensation. And from you said, he was not ten, but 16 years difference - that is well into the area where age difference alone can be important. Does not have to be, but definitely can. Meara was going with someone with a much smaller difference on Saturday if I remember her age properly, which I might not.

he looked and sounded dead boring. Even more honestly, if he'd been younger and cuter I might have given him a chance.

I'm guessing that if he'd been more interesting and cuter to you, you'd probably also have given him a chance despite the age difference.

up to ten years difference is nothing

Well, not sure what you mean by nothing, but I am proof that 10 years is no reason it can't work out. Relationships are person-dependent, not age-dependent.

I'm guessing that if he'd been more interesting and cuter to you, you'd probably also have given him a chance despite the age difference.

That's also possible.

Okay, really time to stop looking at OKC and go to bed. Just discovered the cute welder I started a conversation thinks homosexuality is a sin and would not have a problem with dating someone racist. Thanks, OKC Questions! You saved me some time.

the area where age difference alone can be important

What does that mean? That if everything else being good, age is enough to sour the deal? That if there were two great choices, and one's in the ten year range they automatically lose?

Basically, I'm trying to understand what "age difference alone" means, and how can one even be able to separate it out like that.

yuck...sorry, you got some of my okc responders, smonster. Although I am a hardass and was very picky about profiles.

For what it's worth, I sometimes refer to the Buffistas as the people who keep me from acting my age.

I never thought I would end up with a guy 5 years younger than me -- didn't discount it, just seemed more likely that I would suit someone my age or a little older.

I think a 16 year difference would have made me go "Hmm?", but if the person was really interesting and we had similar interests and wanted kind of the same lifestyle (laid-back social life with select close circle of friends, the very occasional semi-semi-wildish party weekend, lots of books, geekery and OK with me not able to have kids or wanting to adopt), I would have gone on a date, sure.

I certainly was not planning on marrying a person younger than I, with a child, but it's worked out very well. Our interests and personalities mesh so well, I love and care well for our child and my partner did not wish to have another child, so was actually quite happy w/ my inability to procreate, as that meant he had no need to get the vasectomy he was contemplating.

But he appeared to have spicy brains, maturity and a great sense of humor from the second I looked at his OKC profile, and further interactions proved this to be true.

Life -- it surprises you.

My serious relationship before Tom was with a dude that was 15 years older than me. And it wasn't his age that was an issue, not even that he was perpetually unemployed. The issue was that he was an ass who made me feel like I was so awful that I'd never do better than him.

IN YOUR FACE, DUDE!!!!!

Also, he cheated on me. And cheated with me on others. It was a bad scene, man.

Yikes, wtf was that annoying trip down memory lane?