OK, wow, apparently I was seriously jacked up, because I'm not in pain anymore, but I'm also barely feeling the usual "zonked and can't move a muscle" feeling of the flexeril. Whoah.

..so of course I'm taking advantage of the somewhat unexpected awake time to watch last night's SYTYCD.

Get your stuff out of her attic and end any other entanglements she may have in your life, is my strong suggestion. I've had "friends" like that before. Sometimes they decide to "punish" you for your infidelity by not giving you your stuff back. YCrazyPersonMV, of course.

Totally this. Fortunately, her son...who was a 'ward' of mine for many years...is grown enough that he doesn't need me anymore. I'm sure she will make not speaking to me a condition of his good favor.

Honestly, if she did trash what I have in her attic, I would be sad but not overly bothered. She'll punish me by talking smack to the neighbors, none of which will care much, I imagine.

Strix, yay for relief and absolutely no hurry in getting back to me. I imagine you have a lot on your mind.

Laura, how wonderful! I wish I had more opportunities for that kind of intellectual/culinary evening. My landlord is great for advising me on wine gifts, but he's no cook!

sj, I hope you are able to get some rest and that you find everything you need.

I'm currently pissed with myself for allowing this emotional crap to rob me of sleep. Or maybe it was the caffeine I drank too late in the day...in any case, bad Bonny, NO BISCUIT.

Let me get this straight. She claimed not to have said something, pretty much so she could say it again? That's ... Like two not-really-your-friend friends for the terrible price of one. I wish you didn't have to deal with that kind of nastiness, Bonnie.

Let me get this straight. She claimed not to have said something, pretty much so she could say it again?

Sox, you made my day.

Yes, she said that she never said that she wouldn't ever speak to me again, so that she could repeat her line that the fact that it did not occur to me to call her so she could tell me not to officiate the wedding means I am a terrible friend. Oh, and by the way, everyone she knows agrees that my behavior was 'appalling'. OH, and our mutual friend agrees, because I did the same thing to her.

PS: Mutual Friend and I are just fine, though she does not appreciate being dragged into a fight that has nothing to do with her.

On one hand, I want to have one of those self-righteous discussions where I get to tear her playhouse down...on the other hand...Meh. As said up thread, her idea of friendship is clearly that I should carry a grudge for her.

I'm not willing to carry my OWN grudges, thank you very much.

Oh yeah, get your stuff out of that freak's house as soon as ever you can, bonny.

though she does not appreciate being dragged into a fight

From here, Bonnie, it doesn't look like a fight. It does look like a bad case of abusive/controlling behavior ... as if she's alienated everyone else already.

bonny, ugh! That is not a friend. She reminds me of someone I know. I hope you get your stuff, and get that toxicity out of your life for good.

le nub, if you really want to know, I would be happy to email you. I have your profile addy.

I have been getting up early for me. Maybe the health thing that happened to me recently will be a good thing for that chronic health condition I have discussed here so much in the past!

is it suze orman who says: people first, then money, then things?

in your case, I think you need to do things FIRST. your "friend" is a trip.

strix,

yes, if it is not too much bother. email works.

Since I won't have the opportunity to describe to her why I was so joyful at the opportunity to marry this couple, I'll say it here.

The groom really was a terrible person, at one time. There are a number of factors...some of which I don't know...that contributed to his rehabilitation and his wife must be chief among them.

When I was on a knife's edge, he visited once or twice a week. Brought food. Treated my physical illness.

He listened to my deepest, ugliest thoughts and never flinched. I'm guessing, because his have been just as bad or worse. He never bored of my tears and has never failed to check in with me since December.

At one point, he asked for permission to share what I had said with his, then, fiance. I was frankly surprised that he hadn't already, but gave consent because, you know...open book.

She came to my home with a gift, which frankly, I was not psyched about, in the moment. It is a huge begonia.

She told me how her grandfather acquired it and that it was very special to him. She said that the portion she was giving me is roughly 150 years old. She assured me that, if I chose not to live, she would understand, but could I please try? Could I please take care of this precious plant for her?

Except for being with J, and going for dog walks on holidays with Bartleby's best friend Bob, I was a relative stranger to M. But she told me in clear, logical terms how it would impact her if I died.

She did not feel sorry for me, she did not patronize or judge. She simply saw the hole in my heart and tried to fill as much of it as she could with loving kindness.

THAT is why I didn't think of anyone, or anything else when I saw the opportunity to repay even a fraction of their kindness.