I know. The thing is, it is always all about her. There is nothing in her e-mail indicating she his happy for us and how exciting this is for us. There is also notably missing any mention of helping us move or paint or anything else that the other parentals have offered us. TCG is understandably upset, which of course makes me mad and want to respond in a vicious way, even though logically I know that will only make things worse.

sj, as someone who has experienced two sets of very difficult in-laws, my best advice is to develop as thick a skin as possible and remain positive, even when you're provoked. Don't engage unless you have to; ultimately this has to be TCG's fight, if he chooses to pursue it. All you can really do is be supportive of his decisions.

I am very sorry. It's a tough place to be, but try not to take it personally. It's not about you; it's about deeper family stuff. Hugs.

sj, as someone who has experienced two sets of very difficult in-laws, my best advice is to develop as thick a skin as possible and remain positive, even when you're provoked. Don't engage unless you have to; ultimately this has to be TCG's fight, if he chooses to pursue it. All you can really do is be supportive of his decisions.

Thanks, Pix. I've been able to develop a thick skin when it comes to myself, but I don't know how to do that wrt how she treats TCG. I can't stand to see him get hurt, especially when he has done nothing wrong. I am going to be the one to respond to the e-mail because TCG can't see past the hurt right now, while I can be a little more objective.

Sj, j have also watched my brother struggle with the same issue. His MIL is not nice to his wife and it's hard for him to see anyone be mean to his wife. So, I'm sorry you are having to deal with this.

Yeah, I despise the way ND's family treats him, and I totally get the protective instinct. Believe me, I get it. Like the time he drove all the way to San Diego so they could celebrate his 40th birthday and his sister conveniently disappeared when the check came, which meant he got stuck treating his entire family to dinner for his own birthday. Or the time his only niece just didn't show up to our wedding reception. Didn't even send a text. Or the fact that when we both called our parents after the wedding ceremony in Hawaii, none of his family even remembered it was our wedding day. I could go on, but I won't air any more of the dirty laundry--suffice it to say that I am filled with rage on his behalf on a regular basis. But truly, the best thing I can do for him, I've learned, is listen and love him and slowly--with time--show him that family doesn't have to be like that.

Sorry. Don't mean to make this all about us. I just want to share how deeply I understand that fierce desire to protect.

Oh, sj, that is so hard. And so awful! I just don't get how people can be that way.

I'm pretty sure I upped my game today on bruises that look kinky but were just me being clumsy. Awesome.

Been there, so many times!

I spent many hours last night with a good friend I haven't seen in seven years, and her adorable sons. Sooo wonderful.

xpost with Pix - man, that makes me angry just to read, just as a friend of y'all's. UGGH.

sj, do you have to respond? Can't you just let it lay there like the upsetting thing it is and ignore it?

She ended up calling and TCG spoke to her with enough logic that I think she has backed down for now, except she is positive we paid way too much for the house. We're going to get together at some point and she will bring it all up again. Sigh. It often amazes me that TCG is as wonderful and kind as he is.

Wow, sj. Sorry you're having in-law problems.

I am having alcoholic asshole moron ex-friend problems.

Late last night this alcoholic idiot ex-friend of mine completely misinterpreted my attempts to tell him that I did not want to read his writing anymore, and in a drunken stupor, decided I was suicidal or in a crisis or something, and started attack dialing me (at 2:00 in the morning and continuing until 4:00).

He has started harassing mutual friends, and even people he doesn't know, in his attempts to "intervene".

I have blocked him on Facebook and Gmail. I'm trying to figure out how to block his phone calls, but this involving other people is not only embarrassing, but has massive potential to do ACTUAL DAMAGE to my life.

WTF am I supposed to do if he starts calling people who are potential employers and convincing them that I'm in mental distress, and destroys what little income I have right now.

I cannot deal with this. I *really* do not need this kind of drama in my life.