Oh, Maria. I hear you. Let me know if you want to support each other via email. But yes, this:

I think, probably, that you need to be pacing yourself. If you let some stuff fall a little by the wayside, or lean on some people, or stick a finger in the dyke for a second, it'll be okay.

I have taken a shower, gotten dressed, and done 15 minutes of dishes. Now to feed the animals, finish doing dishes, and change the bed, I think.

Fed animals, changed the bed, am bleaching kitchen sink. While that's working, I'm going to make dinner.

I need help with how to say something. This guy from OK Cupid, we've been IMing for a while, and met once, and I really just don't see it going anywhere. We've got plans for this weekend. I feel like it would be better to tell him that it's not working out before the weekend, and cancel the plans, rather than go out with him again knowing that I'm really not into it. How do I tell him this? We've pretty much just been communicating by IM. Do I send him a message through OK Cupid, or tell him through IM, and what do I say?

I'm sorry I stole the productivity - but not on purpose I got to finish reading essay and applications for a scholarship - that a way big boss volunteered me for as a judge. I grade high. I think ever the most ordinary of these kids is extraordinary.

and I had the plumber in - and got something fixed plus some ideas of other stuff that needs to be done someday.

and the grocery store. and took some pants to the tailor.

dinner is in the crock-pot and i cleaned my sock drawer

i cleaned my sock drawer

Good lord woman! Madness! (go you)

Hil - send him a message via OKC saying basically that.

Hil - send him a message via OKC saying basically that.

Just did that. And blocked him on IM, at least for now, because I'm a wuss and really don't want to have to answer questions about why I feel this way, and I'm pretty sure that he'd ask.

Sounds like you did the right thing for you, Hil.

I took out the recycling and I think I'm done for the night. Going to bed.

stick a finger in the dyke for a second, it'll be okay.

Aw yeah, baby, that's what I like to hear...:P

I went to acupuncture for the first time this evening. One or two of the needles were a bit uncomfortable, but mostly it was fine. I feel better than I did when I went in, though that may have to do with lying in a comfy recliner, relaxing for an hour. But it wasn't super expensive because it's community acupuncture--you don't have your own space, there's just 10 recliners in a circle.

Yesterday was my first Zumba class (slightly less thrilling than acupuncture) and tomorrow I'm going to the fancy theater downtown that I've never been to, to see Hunger Games. A week of firsts!

Yay sleep, Erin! No hairfires, Sean! And big hugs, Maria.

Maria,

the pain is still fresh. I say you are good for being able to go to a job you loathe.

When I was in high school, a Sri Lankan American friend of mine wore something black (garment, or a piece of cloth pinned to her clothing) for a very long time when a relative of hers died. I don't know if it was 1-2 months, or maybe 3? But I can see why such a practice is useful. Hard to feel pressured to go about business as usual when you have a public marker of grief.

Fuck it. Take care of yourself.

Miss Manners has often decried the move away from publicly noticeable mourning, because a visible sign that the person is not functioning at their best and may be emotional at unexpected moments is very useful.