bonny, maybe she opted out of the list because she visits your site a lot, and her in-box is just getting too much stuff from all her internet stuff to keep up with?

OH GOD OH GOD MY EYES PLEASE STAB ME A THOUSAND TIMES WITH A PITCHFORK INSTEAD.

Clown Pants Design.

Rather than grammar nazi, how about grammar dominatrix?

Erin, my friend is fairly prominent on the 'net and I'm assuming he has enough to deal with in his inbox, but it was still a little sad making.

After giving it some thought, a fairly significant epiphany came to me. (are there any INsignificant epiphanies?)

Lots of people are uncomfortable with talking about money. Given the issues that I've had myself, it makes sense that I would have populated my life with people of similar views.

My friends are not my client base, so it makes sense that they would not want to hear about this stuff.

Given this, I need to find the people for whom what I have to offer is a value.

I just wish I knew the best way to do that...like, now.

But more than anything, I realize that I have to STOP looking backward for my support. That's a tough one.

bonny, that's a positive realization.

I know we talked about posting on blogs, and this is a nice, positive, woman-run, female-oriented website I subscribed to for my own money issues: [link]

You might look at things and comment with your professional name, website and email addy.

What about blogging on BlogHer? I've only posted one post there, and I got a few hits.

Thanks Erin. That is an excellent tip.

Aww, bonny, the pain sucks -- but don't ever assume it's a reflection on you personally. It may not even be the subject matter.

I never, ever subscribe to email newsletters. If I get added to one, I zap it immediately. If it's a friend, I assume they were just adding their contact list, and absolutely no harm to the real relationship that matters; but if it's some random mailing, they go on my list of people to never, ever do any kind of business with. (And I'm not saying that *yours* is random or not-to-do-business-with. Rather, an illustration of how much I totally hate the things when they're *not* from someone I know.)

Even then, I end up on a hell of a lot of them, and ruthlessly cull them all periodically. It's all to do with my feelings about email newsletters, and nothing to do with my feelings about real people I know who truly find them valuable.

And remember: your friend values you, but all your readers and the other humans in your circle get to choose where they interact, whether that's your newsletter, your site, in person only, etc etc. The more you put yourself out to a wider variety of channels, the more choices *they* have. And just because some business advice site says you HAVE to push your e-newsletter, doesn't mean it's the right choice for any one of those people.

...

Wait, what am I saying? I'm also the ruthless bitch who tosses people's xeroxed xmas newsletters without reading them. Take all the touchy-feely pro-marketing-choice stuff up there w/ one large grain of salt, could be just me.

No, amych, I take your point, and it is a good one.

I feel pretty limited in my access to people's eyes. The newsletter is a way to get things out there, but I can honestly say that of the dozens and dozens of issues I've published over the years...at one point, every week for 3 years, I can count the number of clients I've gotten from them on one hand and change.

I think Erin may be onto something, that what I need to do is start writing on other people's blogs to drive traffic to my own. That makes so much sense, but just never occurred to me.

More than anything, I think I need an overall plan that I can stick to, and have some faith in. That last bit is the hardest part, really.

I'm calling SCORE right now to set up an appointment. I had a terrible experience with them the last time...about 11 years ago, but I really need some guidance now. So, time for another shot.

The caveat to my suggestion, bonny, is I totally only do it when I genuinely have gotten something from a blog post, and am contributing to the convo or really think the writer said something awesome.

I know you wouldn't...

I am always SO EXCITED when someone comments on a blog post!

Most of the moderate comments emails I get from WP ended up being spammers, and I am so sad. "WOO...Oh. Dammit. I WANTED TO ENGAGE!"

Rather than grammar nazi, how about grammar dominatrix?

Interesting...

Don't think I'm allowing a safeword, though.