if men hated ties that much, they'd loosen them or take them off when they get their cars to drive home. Very few do.

I think that's also laziness, though. And where to put it, etc.

S. used to come home, when he worked a suit-and-tie job, and practically strip in the living room.

My White House intern roommate would basically strip on his way home from work. But that was because he was hot. Also, hot. Good times.

I change the minute I get in the door.

I do, too, but that's mostly the cat.

Excellent news Consuela. About the interview. Not the tie-guy.

gender performativity is enforced by a cabal of old white guys

Man, it's enforced by *everybody.* That's the deal. I don't think I know anyone at all who doesn't enforce it in some way, consciously or not.

t edit Not that that's a *good* thing. I'm just saying, it's goddamn pervasive as hell.

I do, too, but that's mostly the cat.

German Shepherd hair gets into everything, so yeah, I change out of work clothes when I get home, too.

I suspect that, like everything else, men's response to ties varies: some don't mind it. The point the guy was making was that men were forced to wear clothes they don't like, too, therefore the Patriarchy doesn't exist.

I don't think it occurs to any of these guys that the Patriarchy (inasmuch as the social power of 2000 years of cultural history can be called "the Patriarchy") actually hurts men, too. Maybe some of those baseball players would rather have danced, you know? But they would have been teased, so they didn't.

Man, it's enforced by *everybody.* That's the deal.

Yeah. I'm far more aware of the performative nature of femininity than I was when I was younger, and for me that makes me more comfortable doing it, rather than less. But I still find myself reacting sometimes in ways that I really shouldn't. (Like rolling my eyes at the clothes I will see someone wearing on the bus.)

I have never bought that tie thing, because if men hated ties that much, they'd loosen them or take them off when they get their cars to drive home.

I hate them so much I almost never wear a tie voluntarily. At weddings and funerals there's enough pressure from tradition that I'll knuckle under, but I don't think I've even worn them to business conferences.

ETA: Bleargh, I discovered that not only did several of the hamburger buns I have on hand go moldy, but there was some little white wormy thing attached to one of the spinach leaves I'd put on a sandwich. Not cool, grocery store!

I hated wearing ties. I was always afraid of getting my tie caught in something or getting it wet at the bubbler or getting food on it....

Although a tie-clip helped a lot.

eta: When I was younger, I used to envy women for the great variety of clothes they could wear.