Gah.

And I'm engaged with another asshole who believes that women can't ever win fights. My god, do I have a Kelly and a Noemi to introduce you to. And his assumption when I said I knew women in the martial arts was that I meant something with point-scoring. Not a real martial art with few rules.

Eat krav, motherfucker.

My cats take care of the facejumpers.

I've killed so many of these things, it's like they never gossip. What's up with that?

Thanks, Calli. I think it might take Leifur a while to find this one. Best to go with the mummy strategy for now. I think it's behind my cedar chest, waiting for me to go to sleep, for prime face-jumping opportunity. But I will have no face! HAHA!

Please, please ask them to fight him.

My cats take care of the facejumpers.

We often find crickets (the regular kind) in the basement who are missing one leg. It's like the cats just can't put in the full effort to finish it off.

Liefur usually kills the camel crickets or takes off their main jumping legs. Either way, they're a lot less likely to jump in my face and easier to dispose of. So while I occasionally have camel crickets in the apartment, I don't have them for very long.

amyth, the other one was probably so intimidated by what you did to its comrade that it fled the house.

This tactic worked for me with the thrillseeker mouse that got out of my humane trap and then scampered over me in my bed. When it was all harmless peanut butter-filled plastic and a free trip to the country more kept coming, but a day of Houdini Mouse's broken-necked corpse sprawled on my kitchen floor seemed to get the message across.

We don't have bugs, between the 4 cats and a dog, which is a PROFOUND relief. I can kill simple bugs, but I hate (a) cruncky ones (b) jumping ones and (c) grasshoppes fill me with a fear like that unto cobras.

And I'm engaged with another asshole who believes that women can't ever win fights.

HA. HAHAHA. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

::wipes tears a glee from eye::

Yes, we are delicate, fragile creatures. Geez, when won't people learn that women are far bloodier-minded and coldly practical when it comes down to it than most men?

My take on it is that in our culture, yes, men are more socialized to casual violence. They will punch, hit, fight, whatever.

Women? NSM. But we generally -- generally -- are not socialized to be as casually violent, and therefore, if women are pushed into a fight, it's for something that is worth the effort, and women go for the kill. Big, hulking football player asked me what I'd do if a fight broke out at school, and I said, "No problem, I'd call security, then break it up till they got there."

He scoffed, and said "What if they really tried to hurt you? You couldn't do nothing then." (He wasn't being threatening, sweet kid, just asking.

Told him, "Sweetie, first of all, you never walk into a fight expecting NOT to get hit. I'd take my glasses off, and if i got whacked in the eye, well, stuff happens. IF someone really threatened me, and I was concerned for my life, I'd punch them in the trachea, kick them in the nads and run like hell."

Beat. "Couldn't that break their windpipe? Kill em?"

"Yep."

Pause. "Man, WOMEN. You gotta watch out for women. They don't fight FAIR. DAMN."

And I'm engaged with another asshole who believes that women can't ever win fights.

ita, I think you should only engage in these arguments face-to-face, and by that I mean his face with your fist in it.

Geez, when won't people learn that women are far bloodier-minded and coldly practical when it comes down to it than most men?

This is really an insupportable generalization.