'Selfless'
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
But -- I do actually get why a cinnamon-swirl-streusel-chip bagel is really not the same animal as a plain bagel. Honestly.
But is there really that much difference in the scone world between choices of dried fruits? I wasn't using Skittles, or anything.
[Note to self: MAKE SKITTLE SCONES AND SEND THEM TO DAVID.]
The last time I bought currants, they were fake anyway -- Zante currants are actually raisins?
And hey, going back to c/p that, I realize it wasn't an unrelated column at all. Sort of. Here's the rest:
About the TSA: I was traveling a lot last week, and I chose, whenever the situation arose, to avoid the radioactive humiliation experience, and instead chose the now-traditional junk-handling one-on-one frisking spectacular. The frisk went as usual ("Now, on behalf of the people of the United States of America, I'm going to run my hand up your butt crack"), except when the TSA agent swabbed my inner thighs for explosives. We've all been swabbed, but the TSA usually runs the swab on your hands, or your carry-on bags. This time, the inner thighs. Which raised the question: Is it possible to build a bomb with just your inner thighs? Is something we should worry about, an al Qaeda bomber who, using only his thighs and a 3 oz. tube of toothpaste, could blow an airliner from the sky? (UPDATE: Goldblog reader E.B. suggests that this was an indirect way of looking for an ass-bomb. But I say, hey, if you're going to look for an ass-bomb, then don't pussy-foot around, just go look for an ass-bomb.)
And speaking of deadly weapons: I just observed a very smart Atlantic intern in our kitchen spreading hummus on a cinammon-and-raisin bagel. This is very, very wrong. I explained to her that, a) cinnammon-raisin bagels aren't technically bagels at all -- I call them "Christmas Raisin Rings," and that b) hummus doesn't belong on bagels, no matter what their provenance. She was unapologetic. Kids today, huh?
I'm just chuffed they used "provenance."
Also? Hummus on a cinnamon-raisin bagel sounds gnarly. But a plan bagel -- why not? I am a food philistine, though, as evidenced by my wild-ass scones.
(Seriously, I kind of want to try to make Skittles scones now.)
Zante currants are actually raisins
IS THERE NO TRUTH IN THIS WORLD?
Eww. Hummus.
I you are attacking with hummus, I can see using a cinnamon-raisin bagel as part of the weaponry.
Eww. Hummus.
Welcome to the Town of Wrongster: Population, You.
Eww. Hummus.
God bless the chickpea.
(I feel like that's a quote from something. Anyone?)
t edit Got it -- that really old episode of Friends where they crossed over with ER.
I wish I had some hummus right now. Since after a day and a half of worsening pain I found out this afternoon that I get to have a root canal tomorrow. (I was going to say "hummus, hold the root", but I guess that's not really on.)
And then I get to teach a two day seminar on Wednesday and Thursday. Awesome.