I have no experience with Border Services. But my strategy for getting through customs unscathed has been to pick the line for the oldest, crankiest guy, figuring they just don't care anymore.

I'm waiting for shrift's Canada border crossing story, which involves a bridesmaid's dress.

A friend of mine from Tennessee picked me up on the way to Toronto, where we were to attend a La Femme Nikita convention. There was a fancy dress party, so my friend had a bridesmaid's dress in the dry cleaning plastic in the trunk, because what other use was she going to get out of it? When we attempted to cross the border into Canada, my friend helpfully explained why we were going to Toronto.

We got pulled over tout de suite.

Out of the car, hands against the wall while they searched the vehicle. One border guard harangued us about how we were entering a foreign country and there were LAWS blah blah oh god what the hell. Once she discovered the dress in the trunk, then came the Canadian inquisition. Eventually we convinced the angry border guard that we weren't planning to sell anything while we were still in the metric system.

I'm still unsure as to why the dress was a point of contention. We could only conclude that there was some sort of black market for bridesmaid's dresses, and that our "smuggling" attempt got me flagged with Interpol, because for years afterward I was always selected for a random search at the airport.

And now I wish I hadn't

Do you think it's true? It can't be true. It must be an April Fool's prank or something.

I clicked. And now I wish I hadn't.

Wait, wasn't it just 2 dudes? (I was going to say "2 dudes, 1 nipple," but then I thought, well, there probably really are 4 nipples altogether.) Did I miss something other than dude-on-nipple action?

Did I miss something other than dude-on-nipple action?

Did you read the article? I found it quite disconcerting.

Do you think it's true? It can't be true.

Wait, what? (I am admittedly a little stoned on painkillers, god damn my gimpy back from hell, so I just kind of clicked, went, hey, dude and nipple, and went on my way. I am now going to re-click. Cover me! I'm going in!)

Did you read the article?

Now is where I shamefacedly say, "There was an article?" I just saw the picture and thought that was all. D'oh.

Amazon’s $23,698,655.93 book about flies.

A few weeks ago a postdoc in my lab logged on to Amazon to buy the lab an extra copy of Peter Lawrence's The Making of a Fly – a classic work in developmental biology that we – and most other Drosophila developmental biologists – consult regularly. The book, published in 1992, is out of print. But Amazon listed 17 copies for sale: 15 used from $35.54, and 2 new from $1,730,045.91 (+$3.99 shipping).

But that's just the beginning. Or, technically, the middle.

Aha. What looks like might be the article is all jammed all the way over on the left side of my browser window, in a space maybe 1/2 inch wide. I blame Safari. Lemme switch browsers.

t edit What the hell? It's all weird in Firefox, too.

It is all weird for me, too, Steph. I am not opening up IE to read the nipple article.

I haven't crossed into or out of Canada since 9/11, but I once got back in with just a pay stub (I was a teenager on a school trip, though).

The hardest was crossing out with a 50 year old man, and 35 year old woman and 25 year old me- all unrelated, 1 a Canadian citizen on a student visa (the 35 year old) and carrying theatrical rental costumes for an opera.

I once got into the US with an expired student ID, the only picture ID I had. Those were the days.