What'd you all order a dead guy for?

Jayne ,'The Message'


Natter 68: Bork Bork Bork  

Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.


tommyrot - Apr 25, 2011 10:00:03 am PDT #5140 of 30001
Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.

So, a few weeks ago I bought a new digital watch. I tried to figure out how to set it without reading the manual, but failed. Then I read the manual and I still don't know how to set it. I think they included the wrong manual, as they show a watch like mine that has four buttons, but my watch has no buttons.

This is the watch: Starck ph-1110

So far my google-fu has failed. Might have to call Fossil and/or the store I bought the watch from....


tommyrot - Apr 25, 2011 10:22:49 am PDT #5141 of 30001
Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.

A contest for bad analogies: [link]

The first five winners, printed below, pocket £18 each; the rest get £10.

The state of the bathroom could only bring to mind the surface of a remote planet in which dungheaps and memphitic swamps co-existed with the entire toiletries and fragrances range of Galeries Lafayette.

The accountant had the world-weary air of a ferret that had been up so many trouser legs that life held no more surprises.

How to describe this novel? Picture it as The Aeniad meets Othello meets Moby Dick meets Peter Rabbit meets Mein Kampf meets the Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus meets The Highway Code. In that ballpark, anyway.

His morals were as twisted as an expensive Sicilian corkscrew that had been used as a way of extracting the pith from a bad apple before being driven over by an Eddie Stobart truck.

She gazed at him as lovingly as if he were her ear-lobe, replete with a diamond-encrusted earring, as reflected in a Parisian mirror.

She spoke as throatily as if a frog and its family had got into her throat and smoked a few packets of Peter Stuyvesant before growing claws and scratching at the inside of her thorax.


le nubian - Apr 25, 2011 10:32:15 am PDT #5142 of 30001
"And to be clear, I am the hell. And the high water."

so if a passport is getting back into a country, why did I need to show one when I was trying to enter Canada? Rather, a passport is for trying to enter a country (any country) but not when I leave? It's kind of the same action when I get on a plane though.

Anyway, I hope it is for people who don't have other proof of citizenship, although it still sounds onerous for a travel document. It isn't like a financial commitment is behind the passport.


le nubian - Apr 25, 2011 10:32:40 am PDT #5143 of 30001
"And to be clear, I am the hell. And the high water."

baby polar bear cubs:

[link]


DavidS - Apr 25, 2011 10:34:37 am PDT #5144 of 30001
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."

The accountant had the world-weary air of a ferret that had been up so many trouser legs that life held no more surprises.

Oh, I like that one. I mean, you'd need it in a Douglas Adams context but it could work.


erikaj - Apr 25, 2011 10:39:58 am PDT #5145 of 30001
"already on the kiss-cam with Karl Marx"-

Maybe Tom Robbins, too. Damn, I love that crazy hippie.


brenda m - Apr 25, 2011 10:41:16 am PDT #5146 of 30001
If you're going through hell/keep on going/don't slow down/keep your fear from showing/you might be gone/'fore the devil even knows you're there

so if a passport is getting back into a country, why did I need to show one when I was trying to enter Canada? Rather, a passport is for trying to enter a country (any country) but not when I leave?

Right. Basically nobody cares who is leaving, but to enter somewhere you need the documentation.

The US confuses the issue a little by having some of their checkpoints located in the foreign airport. So for example you have to show a passport before you board a plane from Montreal to New York. But it's not because the Canadians care who's leaving - it's US Customs.


Matt the Bruins fan - Apr 25, 2011 10:51:43 am PDT #5147 of 30001
"I remember when they eventually introduced that drug kingpin who murdered people and smuggled drugs inside snakes and I was like 'Finally. A normal person.'” —RahvinDragand

My general impression regarding the USA/Canada border has been that the Canadian border guards are all "Welcome to our country! Have a pleasant visit!" while the American ones are more "Who the fuck are you and why should we let you in?!?"


§ ita § - Apr 25, 2011 10:54:08 am PDT #5148 of 30001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

A passport is where the visas go. You guys just don't really use visas much.

Ugh, I should be sleeping. Canna sleep.


§ ita § - Apr 25, 2011 10:55:36 am PDT #5149 of 30001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

the Canadian border guards are all "Welcome to our country! Have a pleasant visit!"

This might be because you're American.

They're sure not that way to a Jamaican former-Canadian resident. And listening to them threaten people crossing their border was very illuminating. And, I'm sure, ultimately useless.