I can totally see how just about anyone here (including me) could be called pretentious.

And I can see how I could be called a sociopath, but seriously? Don't make me cut a bitch.

I've been awake since far too early. I was in a mood. Then some kid barfed in the pool at a point in the swim that it wasn't worth it to wait for half an hour to finish. Besides, I am getting together with people at 7, and there wouldn't have been enough time. Which, now, because of mood, I don't feel like going. But I will. I just might bail early.

Allyson, also keep in mind the year is lurching painfully towards winter. Days are getting shorter and that can fuck with your head.

Man. I wish I could see me the way you guys do. It's a lovely vision.

Allyson, the thing is, we're all screwed in the head, to one degree or another. If you meet anybody who's well-adjusted, effective, productive, AND happy in their life for more than a few months at a time, there's something seriously wrong with them. We're all living on one edge or another. It's knowing where our edges are and having coping strategies to keep from falling over, whether that's a therapist, friends, nose flute lessons, yoga, whatever.

Beverly is wise. Very, very wise.

Can I be a cheerfully pretentious sociopath? Please?

I will note that what Beverly says is all true, but some people really need meds to keep the brain chemistry straight, just like some people need meds to keep the blood sugar or blood pressure on track.

If you meet anybody who's well-adjusted, effective, productive, AND happy in their life for more than a few months at a time, there's something seriously wrong with them.

Hah! Although, to be honest, I would say that they're a unicorn: vanishingly rare. Everyone has problems.

Man. I wish I could see me the way you guys do. It's a lovely vision.

We see you that way for when you can't see yourself that way. It is possible to get closer to reconciling the two images, if not making them meet precisely. Right now you got a funhouse mirror thing going on in a big way.

Living in your head and not being able to deal with the world for longer than a day or two, or maybe a week... you need to go talk to someone. Signed, been there done that, watched others go through it, probably be back there myself in a week or two.

Beverly, that's such a true and lovely post.

YAY about the apartment, Jesse. It would make me look, though, cause I'm a fish/cut bait kind of girl.

So I asked my mom about Signing Times DVDs for Grace for Xmas. And she ordered them and emailed me a note that said, "Why wait for Christmas when you can use them now?" Those DVDs are over $200. Bless mom!

Yeah, I'll still plan to move 12/1 unless I hear something really definite about being able to stay.