I don't think there's a requirement on your part to be anything but honest and straightforward with how you feel. And maybe the next time you see C you can let her know that whatever he was implying with his email didn't reflect your feelings about her.

Sounds like he made an ass of himself and that's on him and will have natural fall-out.

You're not required to do anything. For me, knowing my friend was a jackass to someone else would lead to a little distancing on my part. Because I'd be thinking, when will I be the victim of this jackassery? Surely it is just a matter of time.

But then, this is possibly why I don't have a lot of friends.

Yeah, I did already tell C (when I saw her last week) that I didn't dislike her and I though he was being an ass. She'd been pretty hurt by the whole thing (understandably) and was glad other people were saying "no, he's an ass".

But I worry that continuing to be his friend (for example, we're sharing a room when we go to a dancing convention in a few weeks) is somehow supporting him being an ass. Even if I've already told him I don't. Just not sure where the line is.

Meara, You've called him on it and called him a jackass. I think that's fine. If we broke up with a friend every time they did an asshole move (or vice versa), we'd all be very lonely. (ETA: Or maybe I have more assholish friends than y'all.)

Maybe the next time you see C (or email her, if you feel comfortable about it) tell her that you think what K did was an asshole move and you told him so. But I don't think you're responsible for your friend's actions, nor do you have to apologize for him.

Yeah, flea, I know what you mean. I'm familiar with the notion of people being friends with people who are known jackasses simply because they've yet to be a victim of the jackassry. And then when it finally happens to them, they're up in arms and I'm like "uh, yeah, why did you think you would be immune to the inevitable jackassry?"

On the other hand, sometimes people just don't like each other and they don't get along. If that's the case, neither is particularly being a jackass, they just have preferences. So there is no need to pick "sides".

Aaaannd, on the other hand: A long time ago, I was at a fairly large gathering for a birthday dinner for a very dear friend. My boyfriend at the time was 15 years older than me (but in better shape and more good looking than most of the younguns sitting at the table, harumph!) and he was my guest. We were sitting across the table from my dear friend's high school friend, Lauren. Lauren, in the middle of dinner, looked at me, looked at Woods, and asked me "why I was hanging with the Geritol set?" I am STILL hurt, years later, that my dear friend M didn't cut Lauren right out of her life for that incredibly rude and mean comment. Nope, they're still friends. And my stomach hurts every time I see Lauren comment on any of M's posts on Facebook.

(I know it's irrational to expect M to cut off a friendship at my wish, please don't tell me I'm being a jerk for expecting it.)

What are your first and second favorite apple pies?

Mr Kipling and the Apple Pan pie, in no particular order.

Okay, enough timewasting. Up and out of here.

BTW, I have a long history of tolerating jackasses (usually when they've been a jackass to me, though), but I do treat people coldly when they do something like that. Then it's their call to decide if cold me is worth hanging out with anymore. No skin off my nose at that point--it clearly depends on how jackassy they were to me.

Which reminds me, the last guy that was a real prick to me, I just ended up wanting people to understand my side of the story, but wasn't bothered by anyone still hanging out with him or shit.

NOW I WANT APPLE PIE.

Lauren, in the middle of dinner, looked at me, looked at Woods, and asked me "why I was hanging with the Geritol set?" I am STILL hurt, years later, that my dear friend M didn't cut Lauren right out of her life for that incredibly rude and mean comment. Nope, they're still friends. And my stomach hurts every time I see Lauren comment on any of M's posts on Facebook.

Yep, I've had that experience, more or less.

Why did I decide my project for today was entering all my credit card purchases into iBank? It turns out I don't want to do this at all!

What are your first and second favorite apple pies?

The Granny Smith apple, brown-sugar pie that I make and the apple-dried cherry pie that my upstairs neighbor makes.

Jessica,

but it will be worth it after you finish.

Said by the woman who updated ibank and has not inputted all her info yet and was supposed to be June 1.