I know cookies are following me around, so lots of sites give me Modcloth ads, or tried to sell me bags when I was looking for a new one. Why is The Current Conscience trying to sell me money-transfer-to-Jamaica services? When did I let that slip?

Not that they're getting a penny of my money. Damned Jamaicans.

I can now definitively say that the only way to get laid on a regular basis (as a single person) is to explicitly look for it on a regular basis

The *only* way? I've never explicitly looked for it, but have had periods of it dropping unasked into my lap.

Yeah, if ALL I wanted were to have a roll in the hay, I imagine that's not so hard to find. It's that that's really not all I want.

Then again, I may feel differently in a few months!

I looked at the website for Galaxy Vegan Cream Cheese once, months ago, and those ads are still following me around everywhere on the internet. I don't need these ads! When I do want to buy vegan cream cheese, Galaxy is the brand I buy, but I buy it a few times a year. These ads are not making me want to buy any more of it than I already do.

But! I write books and hang out with scientists who guest on Colbert and Craig Ferguson! And I can get all your Firefly shit autographed! I'm a total catch!

I wear comic book paraphernalia and I never leave home without a blade. Why isn't there a lineup?

Tim owes me at least two signed scripts by this point, and I don't say that much.

I mostly just seem to attract Nice Guys. And they're so angry.

The *only* way? I've never explicitly looked for it, but have had periods of it dropping unasked into my lap.

On a regular basis?

I would imagine that's easier for the attractive, but still -- you can be as hot as you want and sitting at home alone isn't going to get you laid, is part of what I'm saying.

I mostly just seem to attract Nice Guys. And they're so angry.

Me, too. I get "nice guys" who are angsty. My mantra for the dating in the future will be "under 50, no angst". The rest is negotiable. (My last two boyfriends were 15 years older. Not too bad when I was 30, but seriously I am not ready to date people nearing retirement now.)

but have had periods of it dropping unasked into my lap.

Here is how my mind works: I envisioned naked Taye Diggs falling from the sky (much like Angel did in that one episode) and landing on your lap, whereupon you remarked, "Well, hel-LO there!"

Make of that what you will. And if it ever happens, share pictures of naked Taye Diggs, please.